tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-170855732012-01-28T02:04:07.749+05:30My Own Place under the SunSuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.comBlogger9871100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-41657084936889093332012-01-27T11:19:00.001+05:302012-01-27T11:20:28.911+05:30

2011 felt like a year when I ran very fast trying to keep pace with my life. The first six months, crowded with the play, my French and Italian lessons, holidays to Darjeeling and Delhi and so on had me – and by extension Vicky and Rahul – walking on a very fine line. Somehow, after my birthday, at some point the exhaustion caught up with me. We moved homes in early October and I went to Dhaka

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-61717805354538491852012-01-15T12:49:00.000+05:302012-01-15T14:56:23.687+05:30

It seems like a very long wait since Kiran announced that her debut novel was going to be published as The Reluctant Detective. I have always enjoyed her writing, so I really looked forward to the book. To the point of blindly investing in a few extra copies feeling quite sure I would want to share them with friends and family. My copies reached me last night and I've been surreptitiously

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-54150550987782744362011-12-19T13:10:00.000+05:302011-12-19T13:10:38.530+05:30

The reason is much the same as always: I can't say what I want to and then I end up (mentally) stuffing my fist in my mouth, backing out of the (metaphorical) doorway and running away. Unfortunately, this has resulted in me not writing down a great many happy memories. These last months of any year are always busy and this year especially so as we moved to a larger flat in an unknown part of

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-71904839482380317782011-11-07T09:20:00.000+05:302011-11-07T16:12:23.863+05:30

I was passing by Jezebel when this article caught my eye. Now, if you've read me for any length of time you know I retained my maiden name and this has led to confusion, embarassment, complication and chaos at various points. It led to open fury when the people at Survey Building tried to insist that I register with Vicky's family name for my voter ID. For those however who point out that

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-42454564519856790712011-11-06T10:22:00.003+05:302011-11-06T10:22:30.847+05:30

At least, I for one am convinced that they could.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-50564074341946520522011-11-05T09:11:00.000+05:302011-11-05T10:43:05.271+05:30

[I think I began to write this one for a competition but felt it was too personal for such a platform. It's unfinished, at any rate.] This is a post that has been so long in the making that I've already written and re-written it several times over in my head in the last few years. I never did write it down though so let it me give it another shot. It's one of those difficult subjects on which

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-593753155240970792011-11-04T09:07:00.000+05:302011-11-04T09:12:06.329+05:30

[Still rooting through the drafts.] I was in a sentimental mood last night and took out our wedding album and leafed through the photos. There are several photographs of my first cousins in a large gang. Five years on it looks extremely unlikely that there ever will be any more such photos ever. I found all my friends among the crowd, people I had never noticed in these same photographs, and

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-74749938199333942712011-11-04T09:04:00.001+05:302011-11-05T11:07:24.205+05:30

[Another one from the drafts. Not sure when I wrote it or for what, but I continue to feel the same way!] Signing an offensive comment or statement off with "peace", "warmth" or a stupid smiley not only makes your comment that much more offensive (because clearly peace, warmth or even shared humour is not your aim), it also makes you look like the kind of loser who cannot defend the statement

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-3162121905770682612011-11-04T08:59:00.000+05:302011-11-05T11:06:29.110+05:30

[Just found this in my drafts.] It's been a day I'd like to remember. Vicky had an early morning online meeting, so he left home shortly after 9. My maid bunked so I washed a lot of dishes and then had to scramble into my saree while he got Rahul dressed. Right after he left Rahul and I went upstairs for the pujo arranged by our neighbours. Two books of Rahul's were taken along to be blessed,

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-20982472278669423702011-11-04T08:55:00.000+05:302011-11-04T08:55:23.451+05:30

I saw this and grinned. Vicky's never apologised for all the stuff he's done to me in my dreams, but that doesn't stpo me vaguely resenting that he doesn't! Don't feel too sorry for him though because Karma, who likes to balance all things in my life, has ensured that the son gave me a hard time the first half of last night because of whatever it was that I was doing in his dreams.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-9677422631452237172011-10-25T16:39:00.000+05:302011-10-25T16:39:14.607+05:30

There's just too much going on. Lake Gardens Tales goes on a hiatus as does Sunny Days, sorry. What with the move and work and festivals and a birthday and ailing relatives and visiting parents and family drama and -- let me catch my breath -- where was I? Oh yes, no time to write.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-68616929604362234092011-10-19T09:12:00.004+05:302011-10-19T09:48:44.424+05:30

Our new flat is two-bedroomed, which means that we finally have a second room for Rahul. He has been gifted his grandfather's old bed (made by my grandfather himself) and he has his bookshelf and for good measure, I packed Vicky into that room too. I mean, Vicky's workspace and things are over there. The thought was that Vicky could work while Rahul slept so the boy wouldn't feel abandoned.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-44505505236422569332011-10-18T22:46:00.001+05:302011-10-18T22:47:19.304+05:30

The louder the child tells me that he does not like or love me, that he does not want me and that I should go away, the more it means he doesn't want me to leave his side. Strange kid. Even stranger that it took me so long to work it out. Especially when you consider that I'm nearly 30 and I still do the same to my parents. ... I don't know if you noticed, but it's Tuesday.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-28529294632906943232011-10-14T01:33:00.001+05:302011-11-08T23:24:48.975+05:30

We are in Vizag for the week. I'm convinced my parents are out to get me. Otherwise they would not 1. Keep buying that boy more toys! 2. Tell Vicky all those embarrassing stories from my childhood. Given how his family never tells me any, it's just not fair to give him more and more ammo. 3. Fall ill. 4. Don't tell me when they do fall ill. Thanks for making me worry all the time, Ma-Baba!

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-1892881647200531672011-10-09T12:25:00.000+05:302011-10-19T09:47:48.429+05:30

In theory I have always known an unkind word or deed can carry much farther than one would ever have expected. In practice I have seen something of this before. Right now though it's surpassing all notions of space and possibility. Thanks to all these irresponsible ripples, it's not dying down.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-34885316587053801672011-10-08T13:45:00.000+05:302011-10-19T09:29:30.439+05:30

Have you heard this? It gives me goosebumps. Every single time.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-65588854426700468972011-10-07T03:16:00.000+05:302011-10-19T09:29:11.336+05:30

Mostly Vicky seems to act like he can't stand me. But every once in a while he makes me feel like the whole ruddy universe does indeed revolve around me. When he does that, it shows. Mostly I'm shrewish and sharp-tongued. But every once in a while I'm -- not.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-29310464617296937722011-10-07T03:08:00.000+05:302011-10-19T09:28:52.252+05:30

We moved to the new house on Panchami. We moved the furniture in the morning and in the afternoon Dipali and I drove over with bags of things. My two large steel almirahs haven't fitted into the building entrance so I spent the weekend aghast at the lack of storage space. It's been six days and the place is still an unholy mess. My kitchen is yet to be functional but I hope it will be so by

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-11943263996080183822011-09-29T09:16:00.000+05:302011-10-19T09:27:42.714+05:30

Remember CSA Awareness Month? For October we are planning a similar initiative, on Violence Against Women. We know the subject is very wide and includes multiple aspects. To ensure that this awareness campaign is effective, we have limited our scope to the following aspects: 1. Domestic violence – physical violence by husband/partner, other family members etc 2. Violence against girl

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-4973229928712701602011-09-27T12:03:00.000+05:302011-09-27T12:03:18.685+05:30

The period of the goddess -- Debipokkho -- has begun. This will be our last Pujo in this neighbourhood. I never thought I'd miss this place so but we have lived here nearly four years so I suppose that was inevitable. It's the only home Rahul remembers. This is a very moving time for me. On the third day of this period five years ago, a little Niyogy was born to me. It's also Tuesday.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-14409593390989025882011-09-25T23:52:00.000+05:302011-09-25T23:58:50.577+05:30

Here's why I would never make the cut for mommy blogger status: Rahul turned five this morning and I'm only just writing out the blog post. Also, he celebrated it with his friends over a week ago and... I'm only just writing out the blog post. The party was great even though several people had to drop out at the last minute because of various emergencies. People who could make it included

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-84367258084997134472011-09-20T10:58:00.000+05:302011-09-20T10:58:18.337+05:30

And the serial resumes.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-59786380948021161912011-09-13T00:08:00.000+05:302011-09-13T00:15:12.024+05:30

Vicky bought his Macbook Pro in April. We went hunting for a bag for it but couldn't find anything to suit our budget as well as our tastes. I rashly promised to make him one instead. I even found some material that matched the fabric he had once said he would have liked for the bag. That was in April. This weekend, after yet another visit to a store where I guiltily sneaked past the laptop

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-13478873884267200152011-09-06T10:08:00.001+05:302011-09-06T10:08:24.179+05:30

Get your episode here. For future reference, you can look to the right sidebar on Tuesday mornings. All serial updates will be shown there. --->

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-36070853195920780272011-09-04T00:04:00.000+05:302011-09-04T00:04:29.101+05:30

I slept late this morning (I woke up with a headache and went back to sleep once the maid and car washer were done). My parents called, asking if we wanted to go out for lunch to the club, but I suggested that we try out the pizzas at Hotel Raj instead. It's a vegetarian joint so Vicky had been refusing to go there all these months, but we all loved the pizza. The bread was crunchy and soft in

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-30727727851494383202011-09-01T11:45:00.000+05:302011-09-01T11:49:20.528+05:30

The boy is running out of the door. His father's already downstairs getting the car out. Me: I love you. Rahul: Bolo, I love you. Me: (very touched that he's actually asking for affection for a change!) Yes, I just said it, I love you. R: Yes, abar bolo, I love you 5, 6, 11! I dutifully repeat various combinations as he makes his way down the stairs. And what with the mushiness engendered

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-63191741704788114942011-08-31T02:06:00.002+05:302011-08-31T02:06:54.856+05:30

And I'm a bit late but here is this week's episode.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-67665884257228232602011-08-29T09:03:00.000+05:302011-08-29T09:03:22.318+05:30

That is my Shejomama looking at airline schedules. We are all in splits this morning. The picture has been syndicated all over the place. What a cute start to the week, I say.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-77148988023244267752011-08-26T00:20:00.000+05:302011-08-26T00:20:49.246+05:30

Last week I severed an old and very cherished friendship. I've done it before and lived to miss the bonds but given the circumstances I've never thought I could have behaved differently then or now. But this post is not about me. This post is about a friend of mine long estranged from an only sibling, another two friends at odds over they are no longer sure what, a friend looking to make sense

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-83391323362511049322011-08-25T00:38:00.000+05:302011-08-25T00:38:41.585+05:30

I realise that what I write here is used as ammunition against me by people who really should know better. I have deleted posts this last one week, writing and deleting, because what I say here is used to attack me. Even the things I don't say and never thought are used to attack me. I say attack because when you hurl accusations at me I take it as an attack. Therefore I would like to

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-22472544198680021712011-08-25T00:12:00.000+05:302011-08-25T00:12:39.214+05:30

Vicky is ill again. He has been ill much of this summer, with persistent colds and racking coughs and high fevers. I believe he is overworking himself, more through mismanagement of his time than anything else, but it's quite true that he has made an effort to spend more time with Rahul and me of late, adding yet another major demand on his time. When we were newlyweds on our own and he fell ill

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-21212102852769231882011-08-23T15:34:00.002+05:302011-08-23T15:34:36.744+05:30

Read about The black bathroom.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-39027489455687506342011-08-19T16:42:00.000+05:302011-08-19T16:42:32.466+05:30

On Saturday, 13 August, my brother-in-law got married to his long-time girlfriend and her cat. He looked delighted and she looked beautiful and hopefully somebody remembered to congratulate the cat. On Sunday, 14 August, we had the last show of our play. Now to organise the cast party. After the show Rahul went to greet his jethi with a cake and a book on crocodiles. The former was for her

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-13474872309115451082011-08-19T16:11:00.000+05:302011-08-19T16:11:57.403+05:30

My father still buys me guNjiya to put me in a better mood. I suppose some things never change.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-41670303538918680322011-08-18T23:55:00.000+05:302011-08-18T23:55:12.056+05:30

Have you read this poem by Amit Chaudhuri recently blogged by Space Bar? If you haven't, you really should. Since I want it for my own archives, I'm posting the poem under the jump. The Writers On constantly mishearing 'rioting' as 'writing' on the BBC There has been writing for 10 days now unabated. People are anxious, fed up. There is writing in Paris, in disaffected suburbs, but also in

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-17268840084565548062011-08-16T16:49:00.000+05:302011-08-16T16:49:55.763+05:30

I got kissed all morning. And his kissing has a method that must be followed. He kisses first, this cheek, then the other, and presents his own cheeks in the same order and this order must be followed or the kissing starts anew. This morning, I got kissed at the drop of a hat. I got kissed in the middle of a scolding and I got one with distinctly rebuking undertones. Whenever things get this

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-29331061087629694822011-08-16T11:17:00.002+05:302011-08-16T11:17:20.035+05:30

It's Tuesday. Go read.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-36327483055809164982011-08-11T00:32:00.000+05:302011-08-11T00:32:17.388+05:30

I just read this post. Over the past weeks I have had several conversations about body hair and facial hair and eyebrow plucking and doing ones eyes only vs putting on foundation before stepping out of the house. Without in any way taking a feminist standpoint (this once) I would like to state that 1. I don't wax. I cream or shave a couple of times a year, if that, and only attend to my

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-48665969573762714062011-08-10T08:45:00.000+05:302011-08-10T08:45:34.082+05:30

But I think you are sensible enough to choose what works best for you. OR But I will support you in whatever you decide. That's what I would like to hear from my parents now and then. Do I ever get it? Hah.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-4070072408361192452011-08-09T10:28:00.000+05:302011-08-09T10:28:46.838+05:30

The second episode is up. Shall I shift the posting time to 8 am? It might feel more like a morning cuppa read that way.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-83284756289766130502011-08-06T12:02:00.000+05:302011-08-06T12:02:57.479+05:30

It's been a year since Aneela had to write this post. ............................. This is where I say something that none of you will admire: the only (legal) profession I have actually hoped my child will never enter is the armed forces. I grew up in a naval town (Vizag is the headquarters of the Eastern Command) and Vicky and I have close friends who are in the army and airforce

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-40176047125793150782011-08-04T10:22:00.000+05:302011-08-04T10:22:56.905+05:30

In your opinion is it better to have done what you were told not to do and then got punished for doing it or never having done it? This is a dilemma that I've never been able to satisfactorily resolve. If I don't do it then I always feel bad that I didn't (it's cowardly, also I wanted to know what it would have been like.) But if I do it -- or say somebody close to me does something very wrong

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-60215520943619812482011-08-02T10:33:00.002+05:302011-08-13T13:08:32.590+05:30

I don't think I've ever spent too many months busier than the last few. If it wasn't 'work' then it was family troubles.  In August though I plan to relax and breathe a little. Maybe cook once more. The boys and I keep falling ill thanks to eating takeout all the time. (I can safely write this because Mejopishi does not read this blog. Cousin J, you rat to her and die for it.) In May, as some

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-11022709130561176442011-07-18T09:52:00.003+05:302011-07-18T10:19:06.617+05:30

That's the name of the girl I play in My Mother Said I Never Should/Ma Bolechhe Korishna. Let me tell you something about this girl.She was born in the mid '70s and became a young mother in the early '90s, when she was still in college. Many of you who read this blog belong to her times, have known girls like her. Young, eager to please, quick to rebel and ineffectively repentant.Playing her is

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-83133757280967244112011-07-04T23:38:00.002+05:302011-07-04T23:40:01.237+05:30

I'm alive, well and around. Just very, very busy. It's all Vicky's fault I'm sure (it must be) so let's just blame him and wait until I have a bit more time for blogging.In the meantime, send me good househunting vibes please. Even better, if you know a 2 bedroom flat for rent in Calcutta, send me the contact info.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-89309496359314893042011-06-24T23:33:00.000+05:302011-06-24T23:33:00.620+05:30

You know that play I'm acting in?You can read a preview writeup on it here and see a pic too.Also, because I think Tom Lai's done a fine job on them, here are some more pics:My mother and I: within seconds of this photo she gives me hell for daring to pontificate on motherhood after my first holiday with my daughter -- who was brought up by my mother, not me.The second photograph shows my mother

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-72803854604376984492011-06-22T23:59:00.005+05:302011-08-02T10:34:14.834+05:30

I just finished reading Known Turf by Annie Zaidi – a book I cannot recommend too highly, if you like pieces that make you think – and the last piece in the book, on her association with Blank Noise and her relationship with public spaces, really resonated. I ‘got into’ the Blank Noise Project partly through (what I once felt was) misplaced enthusiasm. I tend to contact people whose writing/work

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-61230507120485266532011-06-18T05:03:00.003+05:302011-06-18T23:01:09.232+05:30

Before you read this post (and if you are Cousin T, I don't think you should read this one) I would like to make it very clear that this was not written to show you what rotten in-laws I have or how sorry you should be for me. I have no problems with you sharing your own experiences and I will not judge you or your in-laws any more than I expect you to judge me or mine.A chance remark to Vicky

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-72374217548377467592011-06-06T11:11:00.017+05:302011-06-06T15:52:47.132+05:30

The newspapers this morning reminded me that yesterday was World Environment Day 2011 and that India was the host country to boot. Funnily enough, it was yesterday that I picked up some new plants from Aunty D. This morning I spent a happy half hour repotting a few plants, organising the new ones and generally getting good and grubby.I present to you the fruits of my labours:Some are old and some

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-82113150892145848982011-06-05T09:40:00.007+05:302011-06-06T12:10:27.889+05:30

This is a recipe that I have been meaning to blog for a couple of years now, as a part of a series of recipes for fledgling or unwilling cooks. (I was a card-carrying member of the fraternity, still am, of the unwilling branch.)Ingredients:Chicken pieces, ideally bony & small -- 500 gms (your chicken seller's messed up cuts will do)Onions -- depending on size, 4-6Green chillies -- depending on

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-19083470324129434512011-06-04T11:43:00.000+05:302011-06-03T17:07:36.906+05:30

It's here. In another fortnight, the girls and I will be on stage performing My Mother Said I Never Should/Ma Bolechhe Korish Na, directed by Shuktara Lal (Shuki to you and me). I am so excited about this play. I was also very happy with Proof but this one speaks to me as a mother and a daughter in ways I can never fully list out. I've briefly spoken of my difficulty in acting Payal. That insight

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-3745792832110756662011-06-03T12:44:00.003+05:302011-06-03T16:50:52.191+05:30

Sunny Days, the child of my heart, the sweat of my, er, well, no, no sweat, but you get the idea, is eight today. I remembered the birthday last night but forgot it this morning. Thanks a million, Sole Vita, for reminding me. (It's her birthday too, do go wish her.)Eight years of blogging makes me one of the oldest bloggers I know, right from the uncertain start where I signed up on Rediff with

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-51141522404947603552011-05-30T16:54:00.006+05:302011-05-30T18:08:02.469+05:30

The two could be synonymous, you know. Or you could, like my dad, suggest that "Mother is the necessity for inventions."Kiran awarded me a fun blogger's prize some weeks ago, the Versatile Blogger award, meant for folks like me who can never settle on a blogging niche, I imagine.To honour the award I have to list out a few random facts about myself. Here goes:1. Class X: Highest Board marks were

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-7712247152750358822011-05-26T08:42:00.004+05:302011-05-26T09:29:46.478+05:30

In a Babycentre mailer this morning I received this link on discussing death with preschoolers. I thought I would write about it because it's been surfacing in our lives in recent months.The thing about the boy is, there is so much going on in that little head that we have no idea about. Sometimes Ma and Mejopishi and Vicky mention how he confides in them about his fears and missing people he

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-23695997726036123622011-05-25T02:18:00.004+05:302011-05-25T02:40:59.507+05:30

In other words, I'm not here, I'm not here, as the Roman soldier told the Gauls.1. I left Cal still staggering under the weight of the mighty Left Front and returned two weeks later to photographs of Mamata Banerjee and three-petalled flowers everywhere.2. This heat is actually leaving me incapacitated. I've been back less than 48 hours I admit but I'm finding it extremely difficult to function.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-17416071304584316162011-05-21T02:58:00.002+05:302011-05-21T03:05:41.444+05:30

A girl has dreams. One of mine was a boyfriend who would sing for me. Sing of his love for me shamelessly, publicly. Write stories about the girl he thought I was and poems of the woman he saw. I did date Beq who wrote beautiful poetry and made the most stirring music but he scorned dedications and was content to remain poetically vague every time I dared hope I was the subject. Very

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-50677340495363710792011-05-20T05:41:00.001+05:302011-05-20T05:43:04.072+05:30

What makes you mine or I yours? Do I make the mistake you do, of refusing to look beyond the words to acknowledge the actions that may conceivably display caring and maybe occasionally a little affection? Or was it stupid of me to infuse your little actions with more than you meant by them? Why should it hurt more than everything else that it was true, that I was not being melodramatic when I

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-58258725903536540782011-05-19T03:13:00.004+05:302011-05-19T03:30:05.159+05:30

The hardest part of being a performer -- for me -- is stepping into the skin of the person or thing I am supposed to be. While I have no qualms using my own experiences to help me feel what my character is supposed to feel, I do have major problems going on to the next step, i.e. leaving Sunayana Roy behind. Sunayana Roy has her head firm on her shoulders and has worked out most of her problems

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-37959966226704687592011-05-06T23:52:00.002+05:302011-05-06T23:55:30.810+05:30

... but I don't know what I think of a dad returning the compliment!What about you? Would you be OK with your dad/mum wearing your shirts and trousers (or socks or jackets or whatever)? Obviously this is only something to think about if the parent who's borrowing is from the other gender. Ma and I exchange sarees and accessories all the time.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-31392029148391892062011-05-01T10:42:00.000+05:302011-05-01T10:42:00.069+05:30

A new study by researchers at the University of Minnesota found that teens who drink under their parents' supervision — the occasional sip at dinner or during holidays — are more likely to become problem drinkers a few years later than those whose parents, like mine, adopted a zero-tolerance policy.You can read more here.All I am going to say is, what crap.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-24868051287025079002011-04-30T10:08:00.002+05:302011-09-29T08:55:07.759+05:30

Today is the last day of the Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month -- April 2011 initiative. For four weeks, the girls and I have sifted through CSA survivor accounts, discussed legalities we never knew before, cried over accounts that touched hidden pains and taken heart from ones that showed the way forward. For four weeks we have stayed up nights and woken up early to mediate comments,

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-6060483886795443692011-04-29T00:52:00.005+05:302011-05-26T09:19:09.275+05:30

Indian women of the 1940s and '50s had a certain something to them. They wore their sarees so effortlessly, it didn't matter if the material slipped a bit. Their blouses were every bit as innovative and intriguing as any design we wear today. They wore their sex appeal with pride too.I've always had a weakness for the women of that decade after seeing a photograph of my grandmother and a great

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-32492339569452366652011-04-28T23:53:00.002+05:302011-04-28T23:53:00.936+05:30

I've been discussing marriage and relationships with the girls and it made me relive some beautifully nostalgic moments in my own life.You know the best part about being married? How Vicky and I keep making more such memories. Isn't that what a long-term relationship is all about?I also think part of the sweetness in my relationships has come from the hesitation. The unwillingness to reveal every

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-46867621152297008142011-04-27T23:26:00.003+05:302011-04-27T23:26:00.108+05:30

I've done a book review after ages: Chanakya's Chant by Ashwin Sanghi. I've posted it on my writing blog, do take a look.Note: I was sent a review copy but was not otherwise paid or in any other way influenced in my review by anybody at all.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-85042575821374312862011-04-26T08:50:00.004+05:302011-09-29T08:54:38.618+05:30

This is a guest post I am hosting that will also be cross-posted on the CSA blog. It has been written by my friend Shuktara, who works in drama therapy. When I was 13 or 14, I was molested on a boat by a guide cum fisherman during a family holiday at Chilika Lake (Orissa). It took me years to put this episode in its place and learn how to deal with it when it would suddenly push its way

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-46948530984710849762011-04-18T01:31:00.001+05:302011-04-18T01:33:23.012+05:30

Somewhere not too deep down, Sue lives.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-4798151787981582782011-04-14T01:18:00.002+05:302011-04-14T01:23:59.280+05:30

Sometimes we stand or walk holding on to each other like our younger selves once did. An arm around a waist, a palm in a palm or perhaps our bodies merely brushing as we walk alongside.And sometimes we poker up and put great, big swathes of physical distance between us and yell and glower across the gaps at one another.And then there are times when one of us is distracted, caught up in the swirls

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-66751621846583659412011-04-11T08:00:00.003+05:302011-09-29T08:54:15.386+05:30

This is my first contribution to the Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month April 2011. Working on this project has been more than a little unsettling. Upsetting, even. All these stories pouring in, of children didn’t know what was being done to them, of childrwho didn’t know how to cope with the guilt, the horror, the fear, the shame. I have never had to deal with it myself (and I hope to

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-76273179338424086162011-04-03T11:20:00.004+05:302011-09-29T08:52:40.399+05:30

I read in some alarm how many people on Twitter feel that the contents of the CSA-AM blog are child pornography, because if such shocking tales of abuse turn them on, then I am extremely nervous about the children around them. I find more understandable people who say we should not discuss these matters in public: it is this attitude that I grew up with and it is this attitude that I find allows

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-57490294931286566512011-04-01T10:36:00.005+05:302011-04-01T11:07:47.503+05:30

Sex should be about joy and giving (and for those who want them, babies!)For some people though, it isn't that clear cut.We are discussing Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) all April. Come join in.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-51327778039200569062011-03-28T06:30:00.013+05:302011-09-29T08:53:13.546+05:30

All through April some blogger friends and I are hosting the CSA Awareness Month: If you would like to add to the discussion or know somebody else who would, please note that we welcome entries a. mailed to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com OR b. posted as FB notes and linked to the FB page OR c. posted on your own blog with the badge and "CSAAM April 2011" in the heading and linked to the main

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-17044531121952821132011-03-24T22:38:00.008+05:302011-03-24T23:32:14.611+05:30

In March 2010 I packed the boys bag and mine and went to Assam. In March 2011 a phone call from Smitadi saw me shrug my shoulders (I was pissed off at Vicky) and agree to go to Darjeeling in three days' time. Rahul and I went, almost secretly, because I didn't want the families starting on me, telling me how dangerous it would be etc etc.It was a fabulous trip, actually. Let me tell you what we

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-23545497042032503322011-03-22T09:28:00.010+05:302011-03-22T11:26:59.052+05:30

You might remember, I signed up for Project: Simplify. I did the Hot Spot #1 although I missed the deadline for posting about it because I can't transfer photos from my phone to the laptop. I missed Hotspot #2 because I went off to Darjeeling on a sudden whim but I doubt I could have pulled it off, in all honesty. I try to tackle the paperwork in these parts so often and get absolutely

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-82568511558855228032011-03-22T01:10:00.003+05:302011-03-22T01:24:45.857+05:30

While looking for some info, I came across my little announcement post, where I finally blurted out that I was pregnant.And while I was reading it, I couldn't help but chuckle over such gems as:Kids will have their own wishes. I only get to rule their lives so long.Hah! I will rule his life for ever and ever. Just how my parents continue to boss me around.Do not let my friends anywhere near

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-17996651463224621832011-03-16T09:43:00.003+05:302011-03-16T09:58:21.180+05:30

Thanks to my new French and Italian evening classes, I am to be found at JU four evenings a week. It's OK, it gets me out of the house and I certainly enjoy my classes but hanging around all these kids is kinda weird.For one thing, I am frequently taken to be one of them. That sounds cooler than it actually is. The people on campus call me tumi and while this is fine from people who watched me

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-67830619024728106732011-03-14T15:54:00.005+05:302011-03-14T16:25:04.356+05:30

So that was Thursday. Most of the week went by with Rahul's severe cold and my own, but things looked up on Friday.The boy was finally showing some progress on the health front and I managed to force myself out of bed and into respectable clothes in time for French. Turned out class was cancelled because it was Founder's Day at JU and there I was, in my little tee and acres of skirt and no

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-51038902047826076562011-03-10T11:02:00.002+05:302011-03-10T11:02:53.344+05:30

My throat's covered with sandpaper and my nose is blocked with MSeal.*sigh*

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-86725442501156000532011-03-08T23:05:00.005+05:302011-03-09T00:54:14.751+05:30

It's Women's Day today and for reasons I cannot quite explain, I spent the day fascinated with Sreemoti's post. It is not that I quite identify with her although obviously I do in some aspects, but I do not think she even understands the concept of feminism. If she does not know where her strength lies how will she figure out how much compromise she can accept and how much she can't?It made me

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-65887483499114952502011-03-06T12:14:00.001+05:302011-03-06T12:17:54.817+05:30

My anthem. Bah.I'm off to bake myself some lemon tarts. And then I shall have every last one of them myself. Or something.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-38217918420373223502011-03-05T14:02:00.001+05:302011-03-05T14:03:43.154+05:30

(that's M'pishi to some of you) and a little boy is hiding extreme relief and happiness under a mask of nonchalance. None of us are fooled, though.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-8279943790946778492011-03-04T16:44:00.004+05:302011-03-16T10:09:41.525+05:30

A couple of years ago, when Cee and I were getting to know each other, we were on a Google group and emailed daily. In one such conversation she mentioned that she cleaned her fans with reusable paper towels and I got all righteously shocked because why did she not just reuse newspaper for that? Why waste clean paper? She defended herself as best she could and since I obviously wasn't getting it,

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-78384098975469536072011-03-03T16:49:00.001+05:302011-03-03T17:23:15.520+05:30

When Cousin J was a small bit of nothing much, she firmly believed that her Phulididi (yours truly) knew everything. She tried to gloss over my distressing passion for all things Barbie but you can imagine the shock to her tomboyish soul when she discovered one day that I didn't know what a stepney was.Rahul just had a moment like that. My father, back from three weeks with his youngest nephew in

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-58495862469264254882011-03-02T16:05:00.001+05:302011-03-02T16:08:43.591+05:30

I've signed up. (It's all MayG's fault)What about you?

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-39553537413855225652011-03-02T10:16:00.003+05:302011-03-02T10:39:47.018+05:30

Last night I was reading out a part in which I was 9 years old. This morning I read this article about being the person your 8 year-old self wanted you to be.When I was 8 I used to spend a couple of hours every evening out in the park. We played cricket with Binju's bat, wrestled each other to the ground like we saw on the new cable TV at Debika's upstairs and ran like the wind. I walked really

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-5783815971342769982011-02-26T21:48:00.001+05:302011-02-26T21:48:00.197+05:30

Those who know me know my real love is for children's literature. This week I would like to record a birthday and a death:1) Tulika turned 15. I have been a big fan of their many impressive achievements and ambitious vision for a long time now, and wish them bigger successes in the years to come.2) Uncle Pai left the building. Back when our generation first started reading Tinkle and Amar Chitra

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-69197564340454063352011-02-26T15:35:00.002+05:302011-02-26T15:39:34.427+05:30

Two cheeks rasping down, not stubble.Two lips smacking feathery kisses.A touch so gentle when I'm ready to explode.Some days he annoys the hell out of me. But there is never a day when I want him to be a day older or more grown up than he is already. I know he will just be better and better company with age but this softness is something I treasure dearly. Someday, when he watches my triplet

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-80713661072237992172011-02-25T14:40:00.002+05:302011-03-16T10:28:24.777+05:30

I've said it before and I'll say it again, what's with you guys adding me to your readers only when I stop posting? I mean, are you trying to drop me a hint here or something? I've noticed it before. I blog my little heart out and there is a comment or two, some sporadic visits, nothing much. Then I haven't the time to blog for ages and suddenly ten more people are following me. Humph.It's been a

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-14785462699463273252011-02-22T02:00:00.001+05:302011-02-26T16:20:14.945+05:30

Staying at home has not been quite the relaxed time I envisioned when I left the agency, and it certainly does not leave me with time to sew or bake, but I have learnt a few new dishes these last few weeks.Pulao-kosha mangsho was acceptable, but only just (I'm a stern critic). I need practice, but at least I have gotten over my fear of working with mutton. I cooked it entirely in the kada so

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-18695598353376678602011-02-17T15:46:00.003+05:302011-02-17T15:51:22.641+05:30

when the man is unreasonably nice to me. It puts him on morally superior ground and we all know how competitive I am about that space.(While this was in draft, I came out and asked him why he was being so nice and he explained that since I was down it would only be a matter of time until I started planning to leave him, and he was hoping that if he were nice to me I'd take the boy. HAH! I take

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-49952772996806081642011-02-15T16:07:00.002+05:302011-02-15T16:11:20.182+05:30

In the car, yesterday, after feeling quite traumatised by the boy:Me: That boy is punishment for my sins, I just know it. Every single thing I ever did to my parents, come home to roost.V: And here I am wondering whatever had I done to deserve any of this...Bah. Humbug.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-27773379511761051512011-02-07T09:17:00.002+05:302011-02-07T09:22:36.472+05:30

There are lots of words for 'naked' in Bengali, especially if you're a little boy and still surrounded by some remnants of baby talk -- langto, nanto, nanto-bhanto, nano, nangu etc.So I suppose I oughtn't think it was deliberate when Rahul's grandfather asked him to identify a car on the road and he promptly answered, "Langto!"

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-91233839382116414312011-02-05T08:27:00.002+05:302011-02-05T08:34:45.403+05:30

let me rest.For this last one week I have cried for my son, for how his world's suddenly swung around and all I want to do is curl up and sleep. But there is a little boy who needs the comforting even more than I do. Even as we work together to right things, even as I fight the inclination to hold the world at bay as everybody does all the wrong things, even as I fight his reluctance to accept

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-32171778733976993392011-02-01T00:47:00.002+05:302011-02-01T00:54:06.506+05:30

But I do have a couple of links that may interest you.First, thoughts on Transparency and Transition by Oh, the Joys. I get where she is coming from in the second half of the post. I've been struggling with it for quite some years now myself. What's your take on it? I do have lots of posts in the archives that are in no way diplomatic and would certainly cause upheavals were they to be unearthed.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-15919592847995240432011-01-22T08:30:00.000+05:302011-01-22T08:30:00.390+05:30

It's our fifth anniversary today and ordinarily I'd want it to be about just us two, but today of all days I can't help but think how much I love the man for making me a baby that grew into a squirmy little boy who brings his sharks and spiders into my lap with him, who acts like I made his day by just walking in through the front door, who totally takes his cue from his dad in how to love this

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-28929641420862528202011-01-21T11:49:00.000+05:302011-01-21T11:49:00.468+05:30

You know what I like about the man?I like how he lets me whine my way under his quilt (when I was the one who snootily got herself a separate quilt this winter) and then allows me to warm my icy hands and feet against his warmer body. I know it must be annoying as hell and he better never try it with me, but I appreciate him letting me do it.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-1579808782679729292011-01-20T20:18:00.002+05:302011-01-21T02:51:31.252+05:30

So I'm not getting around posting much else, but I'm really trying to keep the thingies on track.So let me see, how do I love V? Let me count the ways.I love him when I nudge him out of bed early in the morning to take the garbage or Ally out. He does it half asleep but he does it.I love him when he shrugs and says, let's eat out. He knows I am in no mood to cook.I love how he just knows so much

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-15356348759892508352011-01-19T23:11:00.003+05:302011-01-20T18:08:24.295+05:30

Vicky's baby cousin just got married. It's been a really busy time. But in that time, I was reminded of lots of things that I like about the man.I like him in a suit. He looks really sharp in them, especially with a tie. He also wears a dhuti-punjabi better than most men I know.I like that he gets me refills and glasses of water and second servings even if I don't ask particularly nicely.I like

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-42797044129648883302011-01-18T00:39:00.002+05:302011-01-18T00:42:16.973+05:30

The thing I like the most about Vicky today is how it feels when he holds me. Just so that you know, Joe.The thing I liked about him yesterday was how good he looked even without trying. He may not be film star material but damn, he's hot.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-80808444403289269972011-01-16T03:30:00.003+05:302011-01-16T03:53:23.319+05:30

I know, I know, all I do is run around catching up on these but here are some things I love about Vicky --I love that he has so much fun with his cousins. He has more cousins than he can count and he gets along with almost all of them.I love his sketches. He is really talented but since a mere wife is not given a sketch I'm afraid I have none to show you.This is going to sound weird, but I love

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17085573.post-74789853327057168562011-01-11T15:29:00.001+05:302011-01-11T15:36:51.437+05:30

May not post for a while. See you when I do. Till then, read this.

Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10819608939555247317noreply@blogger.com6