Monday, September 11, 2017

Love letter

This summer I learnt to love, all over again.

If you were to ask me (please don't ask) I'd have to admit that love scares me.

So every day of my life I crush my pride and tell people they matter to me.

This summer I learnt to let the last vestiges of pride go.

My little one, you come knocking to my door and ask me when I will have time for you. Not the daughter I longed for, but ever so infinitely precious. With your coming I was gifted an insight into the depths of my heart. I learnt to understand my father's heart.

And my firstborn, that keeps me awake each night petrified with fear because the world will hurt him, but the world will also welcome him and celebrate him, because that's his blessing, you make me confront every childhood demon, every maternal fear, and show me my love is bigger than my parenting shortcomings.

If you ask me (please don't ask) I'd tell you this summer I learnt to love. Without pride, without reservation, without hesitation. If you call, I'll come running. Call me and see.

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