Tuesday, June 25, 2013

"it fascinates me"

Stephen Fry explains why he talks publicly about his depression. Some lines struck a chord --

I don’t write this for sympathy. I don’t write it as part as my on going and undying commitment to the cause of mental health charities like Mind. I don’t quite know why I write it. I think I write it because it fascinates me.
I often write posts that either make sense only to me or are woefully unexciting. I often write about being low. I don't always welcome comments on these posts, because I don't always know how to respond to the sympathy and kindness they tend to generate. So I've often wondered why I write them. Like Stephen said, it's fascinating. I find the workings of my own mind fascinating. Some times I am a hypocrite and I can see my own double standards but I still carry on with whatever I'm doing. It's almost like watching myself from the outside, with an insider's perspective. So one knows what is really going on but one is unable to change events.

Like I said, it's fascinating.


Anonymous said...

Agreed. I write a lot about my depression and inability to change or control it much, in emails to myself. Almost every other day. They would make no sense at all to most people and because I don't want empathy or it's pathetic cousin sympathy they are private emails and not blog posts I suppose.

Depression while dark and dungeon-y is also very fascinating to me maybe because so many members of my paternal family deal with and have lived with far more(than me) dangerous versions of it. My father died from it or the sicknesses that came with it, my cousins deal with it in their twenties and thirties and forties and brilliant careers have been cut short or aborted as a result. Yep, the brilliance and the depression(and mania) seem to run parallel in them.

I love the posts you write on feeling low or uffff...at life perhaps because on some level they resonate with my own phases that are similar but more so because I admire fellows who can be open, fortnight and public about it. It can be liberating if it isn't judged and open for too much dissection by others. It's just out there, thats it.

ok am not making much sense now so ciao and have a great summer.


Sue said...

Deepa -- Keep writing. As you already know, it is very cathartic. I write the occasional public post because of responses like yours. I keep in mind that these posts may help somebody in some way.

Stay strong.