Friday, November 30, 2012

Why do you write such mournful posts?

Because I am at my wits' end.

Because I have no solutions.

Because when I ask myself, what would Sue do, the answer, the only answer that ever comes up is that Sue would get into bed and stay in bed until her world improved vastly.

Because staying in bed means disturbing your child and setting him worrying.

Because he keeps coming to you to kiss away that sad face you're wearing.

Because, dammit, I want to be able to say I'm bloody sad. Occasionally angry but mostly so sad that I don't even want to eat or bathe or dress or work.

I have a room of my own now and I'm scared I will never want to share a room again.

I am scared a lot because change scares me.

I'm functioning because I must but if I had a choice I would be throwing a temper tantrum. I would get into bed and lock my door and stay there until my world improved vastly.

And if I were to be honest, I'm not really functioning either. I don't cook, clean or keep house or look after my child. So maybe I am throwing a temper tantrum after all. Good thing I discovered it in time to enjoy it, huh?

If you're a Glee fan maybe you'll like the Tumblr I just discovered.


AKM said...

Ah well, I hope you hadn't been promised a Rose Garden.

:) Gam zeh ya'avor.

Rohini said...

*giant bear hug*

Subhashree said...

Will it be a copyright issue, if I say I feel that way too and want to steal your post, because you have written as if you were sitting inside my head when you were writing this?

Cee Kay said...

Huge hugs to you.

And to you as well, Subhashree.

Anonymous said...

ah the damning kisses -- as if guilt is all that's missing from a stew of wretchedness. Here's to waking up to a sunnier day when being loved and being don't hurt as much.