Friday, August 03, 2012

I was all out of words

Life hit me too hard, too often, a fortnight ago. Rahul's school called us requesting that we give his studies a little more attention and yet again, my mother-in-law was up to her drama. The school was entirely justified, the mother-in-law was not.

You'd think that given I haven't talked to the woman since April 2011 and prefer not to discuss her she would have the decency to stop talking about me? You would have thought wrong. This time my brother-in-law and his wife decided to jump in as well. I understand this is not a particularly intelligent group of people but even so... one does not like knowing that one's son has in him genes quite so stupidly vicious.

Then there was the work or lack of it. I have been cutting my freelancing down to almost nothing. Now, I'm no good unless I'm working but when I'm in this frame of mind I stop working, so it becomes a bit of a spiral.

There was also quite a lot of drama from my own side of the family about how I don't show enough respect, affection, welcome or thought. I think it's time people stopped expecting things of me and started looking at the person I actually am. I see them as they are and don't keep telling them what a massive disappointment they are to me.

I'm no longer angry or upset but I've been re-drawing a lot of boundaries. I'm too old now to put up with this nonsense.

On the other hand, while I was out of words and offline, there were some things I would like to remember:
1. The second show of Monologues.
2. We went out several times, Vicky, Rahul and I. We went to the sales, we went for dinner, we met Nilu and Shoma (with Shuki) for dinner at Mocha to celebrate their anniversary, we are meeting Smitadi and Ashokda for dinner tonight.
3. I set aside my lack of words and met Dana and Shuki after dinner one night and Shuki and Nibudi for coffee another evening and Dipali yesterday afternoon.
4. Tarana sent Rahul a rakhi and he made a card thanking her for it in his best handwriting. His first ever card. I received a rakhi call from my brother. It doesn't change anything but he did call.
5. I read through the five books of the Song of Fire and Ice set.
6. I've been making friends with the Android tablet Vicky bought me for my birthday. It's more than a lavish birthday gift, it's actually a very thoughtful present from the man who seems to have known after all just how much I missed my smartphone. (My N8 crashed yet again in June and this time I'm not getting it fixed until I stop missing it.) It's not an iPad, but it's fun and it lets me read ebooks and watch Big Bang Theory in bed.
7. I've been working with The Littlest Niyogy on his numbers and his letters and his reading and his spelling and his recitation and also his swimming. All of them could do with some improvement but hey, that's what parents are for. He is swimming. He doesn't think he is, but he swims 8-10 metres easy and could do longer laps if he remembered to use his arms! He reads out books to me and draws dinosaurs at the drop of a hat (Tarana's card has three, one multicoloured -- his new word).
8. Vicky's contemplating moving me -- us -- out of Calcutta and into a place that isn't even featured on the internet. I'm sure it won't come to anything and the place has a certain appeal but even so... On the bright side, if the universe -- and Vicky -- actually pull this through then I suppose I could put the place on the internet. I think I will go sew myself a nice little superhero cloak and leotard. Maybe I could also learn to use a lariat while I'm at it.

Lastly, Jamie Oliver on Masterchef Australia last night. Seriously, how cute is that man! I looked at all those women hugging him at the drop of a hat and turned a deep, deep green. I've had the hots for J Oliver since I was in high school!

Clearly, my words have returned.

6 comments:

Sri said...

Hi..commenting on ur blog after a long time i guess..have been reading ur blog now and then..

The first few lines of ur blog post were so similar to what i am going through!! My last blog post was about it!

PS: Even i enjoyed yesterday's Masterchef Australia episode!:)

Kavs said...

Sue! I looove Big Bang Theory! I'm sure watching Seldon will help you go through the unpleasantness...

Subhashree said...

Don't beat yourself for what the school says. Schools have a way of making the parents feel guilty and making the kids look insufficient.

Yes, that episode of Masterchef was yum. And quite a social life you have, enjoy yourself.

Rohini said...

*hugs*

Divs said...

Awww...hugs. I completely understand what you mean by "I think it's time people stopped expecting things of me and started looking at the person I actually am" I know that feeling too.

Sue said...

Sri -- :)

Kavs -- Sheldon, Raj, Leonard, Howard, Penny, Bernadette... :)

Subha -- I have to say Rahul's school (so far) stops with the parents. I'm thankful for that!

Ro -- Thank you.

Divs -- Seriously. *sigh*