Monday, July 16, 2012

Birthday Card

We had a birthday party for me on Saturday night. I got a lot of really thoughtful gifts but the one that I keep returning to is a card that Chinky spent an entire afternoon creating for me. She drew it and cut it out and wrote in it in her best cursive.

Like I told her, I have made lots of cards but the last time somebody made me a card was when I was in school, which was half a lifetime ago.

She ran around the house playing with Rahul and Ratul-who-is-no-longer-quite-a-baby and she got up to mischief and teased the boys. She also ran to get napkins to wipe up spills and cut the rest of the cake   without being asked and offered to help me organise the dinner. 

I remember when Vicky and I went to the hospital because they'd had a baby. A little bundle with wee, scrunched up eyes. A little girl in soft pink who came to greet me as a new bride at my reception and who promptly stole my husband's attention from me. A two year-old who twirled her fork into her noodles like a pro. A three-year old who recited "Johnny Johnny" with the most adorable straight face. When she was six I once spent an evening playing guessing games with her. Earlier this year I gave her my precious Barbie Fan Club magazines and memorabilia. If anybody could cherish them the way I have for the last two decades, she does.

Seeing her makes me unutterably sad. And then she looks up and I'm just glad I have her in my life, at least. I like to think if I'd had my daughter she would have been a little like her Chinky-didi.

Sunday, July 08, 2012


Happy birthday to me.

Thursday, July 05, 2012

Blessings in Miniature

Last year, Vicky came home from a holiday with gifts for me. He always buys me stuff but this time the gifts included a little porcelain tea-set. I haven't put it on display and I certainly will not allow Rahul to play with it any time soon, but shall I tell you a little secret? The set is housed, with care and in layers of newspaper, alongside the rest of my chineware in storage. To me it is every bit as much 'my' household china as any other bowl or plate or cup I own and use.

When I was Rahul's age my father bought me a similar set that I used for years. It still survives, with a couple of cracks, carefully stored among my toys somewhere. I used to have dolls tea parties with sugar and water and biscuits. When Vicky bought me the second tea-set I felt that old excitement and found myself planning miniature cakes and sandwiches and tea. I may never hold another dolls tea party but I regularly plan some in my head.

Sometimes I feel so adrift from Vicky, so disconnected, so lost that I wonder why I live with him. And then I remember this is the man who packs my teddy bear in my luggage when I leave home for a month. Who buys me a dolls tea-set with as much understanding as he buys the matching graduated flan cases.

Monday, July 02, 2012


Games we have in this house:
Ludo/Snakes and Ladders
Chinese Checkers

Games we play in this house:
Angry Birds
Cut The Rope