Thursday, March 08, 2012

The Talk

A while ago in February I was working in the kitchen and Rahul was dancing around the house (he doesn't walk) when he danced up to talk to me. One thing led to another and the next I knew, he was asking me how babies were made.

I've only been a mother five years. You'd think his curiosity could wait. This big school business and hanging out with his seniors is no joke.

I was not completely unprepared though because he had already sprung this on his favourite aunt (my Cousin J) back in Delhi last December. She, the weasel, had opted out by telling him he would know when he was older.

So I took a deep breath and told him how it happens. I told him that first the father and the mother get married (well, hah) and then they decide to have a baby (hah!) and so the father takes the baby who is really, really tiny, even smaller than the small red seeds he collects on the Moore Avenue roof, and the father puts this tiny baby into the mother's 'tummy' (ahem) and the mother keeps the baby safe there until it is a little bigger and can stay outside, when the doctors help her bring it out.

To further questions I answered

1. Yes, the mother can bring it out by herself but it helps to have doctors nearby.

2. The father gets the baby from a special place and when he grows up he'll know where to get them too.

3. Yes, he stayed in my 'tummy' and I have some photos of that which he can see when I next come across them.

4. Babies get fed by a little pipe that connects their belly buttons to their mothers so that what the mothers eat go through the pipe to the baby's tummy. Yes, that's what belly buttons are for. Yes, his too. (He was thrilled with this piece of information having been fascinated by his belly button for years.)

He seemed content with this much information and I was heaving a sigh of relief until it struck me that he is absolutely bound to share this with his classmates whose parents' may find this TMI. Then I remembered that none of his classmates' parents know us or our phone numbers and heaved another sigh of relief.

The boy has got over a great deal of his inborn aversion and contempt for 'gerls' but he is somewhat jealous of a potential wife (I once mentioned that we would all love his wife since she would be his wife and therefore special to us all -- it made him hysterical with jealousy). So, as of now, he has decided that he wants babies when he is quite grown up (perhaps 90 years old, like he believes I am) but he is going to put that baby in his own tummy so he can do without the services of a wife, thank you very much.

Somehow, this reminds me of the time when he proudly told me that he was going to grow up and be me. If you ask me, my son could do a lot worse.


Anonymous said...

oh my god! what a gorgeous bump that one is :) now we know what 'it' gave us all :) the most adorable boy whom we all love so much :)


starry eyed said...

LOVE the gorgeous woman you! LOL at the other parents not knowing your numbers :P

Sreetama said...

I am saving this in a word document titles " for the future". cuz i cannot be more graceful OR imaginative in the face of such a question from my tot.

thanks. most useful. and you are one of the few....and i mean VERY few women who looked cute preggo. lucky you.

Sue said...

Indu -- And there speaks the proud mashi. :)

Starry -- It struck me later they could still complain via the school but hell, I could complain of emotional turmoil at having been forced to deal with all this at such an early age (my age, I mean).

Sreetama -- Like I said, I'd had a warning shot fired over my metaphorical bow in December, so it wasn't a complete surprise. Later he checked out my explanation with his dad. Clearly the boy doesn't trust me.

Rohini said...

I have avoided this minefield for almost seven years but I feel my days are limited. Good answers :) And what an adorable pic of you!

Sue said...

Ro -- It was easier than I'd expected, you know. I daresay I exaggerated a bit in the post. :)

Varsha said...

Hey! I am tagging you for a post! Hope you complete it :)

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

I love your son, but then you already know that, right?

Neera said...

I really like your answer :) I have been telling my kids God decides when to bless a mom and dad with a child (because they do see couples around who have been married for a while and don't have kids) and then places the baby in the mom's tummy to care for till the baby is ready to come out. I'll save your answer for the time when they ask me "So what does a dad have to do in all this?" :)