Friday, January 27, 2012

2011: The Year in Hindsight

2011 felt like a year when I ran very fast trying to keep pace with my life. The first six months, crowded with the play, my French and Italian lessons, holidays to Darjeeling and Delhi and so on had me – and by extension Vicky and Rahul – walking on a very fine line. Somehow, after my birthday, at some point the exhaustion caught up with me. We moved homes in early October and I went to Dhaka in November and Hyderabad in December but all I really remember of those months is a general feeling of exhaustion, of intense loneliness and illness.

There are some who would say I brought this on myself by doing too much too hard but we all know I’m no good at sitting still. One of the very nicest periods in this year was when Vicky and Rahul were away in Delhi and I was home alone for a week. I literally slept those days away. I had a huge list of vital chores planned but I’d wake up for the maids, doze while they worked and fall deeply asleep after they left. I had my lunches late in the afternoon and my dinners, when I had them, sometime in the middle of the night, if I happened to wake up. It was a bone-crushing weariness that I only now see was some degree of mental exhaustion. If ever my inner demons manifested themselves as physical illness, this was the time.

2011 was a year of redefining friendships. Ro put it bluntly when she said something along the lines of a friend being on your side of the fence no matter what side of the debate they were on. I found myself clinging to that definition as friends and acquaintances took sides in what I had believed to be a family matter. (My mother-in-law is on the warpath once more so 2011 was rather like re-living 2006 except that this time my well-wishers knew better than to believe her insinuations.)

The most unexpected aspect of this was how I did not rely on B and E like earlier. E was caught up in her own journey and though I badly wanted her to be my sounding board I accepted that she couldn’t. B, well, he fell by the wayside.

The year started with a holiday with Smita’di – a friend – and ended with meeting Varsha after many, many years as well as Srinivas after some three years. And you know what they say things never really changing all that much about childhood friends? They are right.

I met Maggie and Cee Kay too this year and discovered important things about both women: the former has great taste in chocolate while the latter can give you a head massage that blurs the boundaries between plain vanilla frenship and MarryMeNOWCee. I remained true to Vicky but I will confess it was a close shave. And of course, before this there were Aneela and The Toddler with The Plan, which trip has been much discussed on FB. Dipali and I did a great deal together in 2011, come to think of it.

Yes, this was certainly a year of friendships. Now to see what 2012 will bring.


Cee Kay said...
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Cee Kay said...

2011 was a year of friends for me too. I made a very good one this year, and met you, Maggie, Dipali and Ro. I also met my high school classmates and revived a few friendships there.

ROFL @ your observation about the head massage. If I weren't dying of exhaustion and sickness, I would have seduced you more (with the massage) and then we would have seen how Mr. Vicky fared!

Sreetama said...
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Sreetama said...

2011 was a bit unkind to me. But keeping with the spirit of this post, let me just say that 2011 reconnected me to you.

I met you again, as a new friend wrapped in old paper, shared my grown up life, my ambitions and my honest hindsight with you, and to be a part of your new life, in a small but intimate way was nice. Really.

Rohini said...

Hugs, babe. This year is going to be better. I can feel it in my bones (or so I keep telling myself)

SRC said...

As a very long time reader, may I wish you a Happy Year 2012, and say that I am happy to see that you are writing again.

dipali said...

For me there was much travelling, and yes, much friendship too. Some heartache as well, but that is Life!

Sue said...

Cee -- I'm all for a massage war. Can't wait!

Sreetama -- We hope to get your painting framed and ready this weekend. Can hardly wait!

Ro -- I hope so too. Better for us both.

SRC -- Thank you, that's very kind. :) I hope the year is being kind to you too.

Dipali -- Dude, that was not some travelling. That was jetsetting level of travelling. :)