Thursday, May 19, 2011

Walk into the pain...

The hardest part of being a performer -- for me -- is stepping into the skin of the person or thing I am supposed to be. While I have no qualms using my own experiences to help me feel what my character is supposed to feel, I do have major problems going on to the next step, i.e. leaving Sunayana Roy behind. Sunayana Roy has her head firm on her shoulders and has worked out most of her problems into neat little pigeonholes. The ones she hasn't been able to lock up she has learnt to live with, but that is not what theatre is all about.

I just watched Black Swan with Cousin J (I'm in Delhi right now) and I suddenly had a moment of epiphany. I realised what is holding me back from fully embracing the role of Payal in My Mother Said I Never Should/Ma Bolchhe Korish Na: I'm just too scared to walk into the great, big hole of hurt that is Payal. I've been too scared to let that pain wash over me because it's not something I can snap into and out of in the 1-2 hour rehearsal time.

I guess, though, now it is showtime.

7 comments:

Unmana said...

Best of luck, Sue.

MinCat said...

youre in delhi! hiya!

dipali said...

You will be brilliant, Sue. All the best. And I'll be around whenever you want me to be.

Sue said...

Unamana -- Thanks :) We'll need it!

MinCat -- Oh, are you here too? Hiya back.

Dipali -- *hugs*

MinCat said...

yes i lives here now. haven't you noticed the whining on the blog? heh

Shuktara said...

Would you believe I just read this post? By the way, I disagree. Granted the last few days have been way too mechanical for any kind of consistent acting to have happened. But you're riding the wave as Payal, for sure.

Sue said...

MinCat -- :)

Shuktara -- Thanks!