Tuesday, June 08, 2010

The N Commandments

For Padma, with a toast for old times. To think, it's been a decade since we compiled these.
  1. Thou shalt not converse with thy classmates of the opposite sex.
  2. Thou shalt not bunk school to attend IIT coaching classes.
  3. Thou shalt not borrow heavy novels from the school library, but only borrow reference books. (The only permissible light reading is that of the lab manual for an hour before going to bed.)
  4. Thou shalt not write and sign thine own leave-letters. (But thou mayest write and sign thy neighbours!)
  5. Thou shalt not embark upon business to the (school) office in the company of thy friends and relatives.
  6. Thou shalt not sit in the classroom with thy back to thy teacher. (Or he/she will bite it, which is what they do anyway!)
  7. Thou shalt not stink in the classroom or thou shalt be sprayed with air-fresheners even as thou art sitting in the classroom.
  8. Thou shalt not feel shy to walk in lines to and from the morning assembly. (Especially if thou art a XII standard girl.)
  9. Thou shalt not sign thine own test notebooks with thine own left hands.
  10. Thou shalt not threaten thy mother with suicide on getting bad marks in Chemistry.
  11. Thou shalt not try to bribe thy teachers with gifts of books, perfumes, diaries, calendars or even rotten apples.
  12. Thou shalt not feel shy to sing the anthem of thy nation in thy morning assembly.
  13. Thou shalt not regard thy school as an institution for the sightless/visually handicapped. (This is not a school for the blind!)
  14. Thou shouldst inform thy classteacher that thou art very much alive in thy class or thy visitors will be informed that thou art not!
  15. Thou shalt remember the name and persona of thy classteacher &/or thy Biology teacher or thy computer shalt be regarded as a diamond crown on thy head.
  16. Thou shouldst keep in mind that thy classteacher wants to be remembered as one of the memories in thine book.
  17. Thou wilt be be regarded as a great scholar if thou absents thyself from (bunks) school on the last days before thy exams commence.
  18. Thou shalt not covet or need invitations to submit thy leave-letters!
  19. All are regarded equal in the eyes of law, even the likes of Ravi, Padma Priya and Vikrant.
  20. An entrance shall be carved into thy classroom wall so that thou mayest slide from classroom to basketball court rather than take the short cut.
  21. Thou shalt not sit on the parapet wall or thou shalt be called a creeping crawling parapet wall child and thy classteacher a parapet wall classteacher.
  22. Thou shalt eat tidily in thy classroom or thy teacher will have to come up with bucket, broom, ‘spatula’ and napkin to clean up after you.
  23. Thou shat not swing thy pendulum all the way from ‘here’ (the Physics Lab) to Anakapalli.

7 comments:

Gyanban said...

Here are the list 10 office commandments.

http://jasaala.wordpress.com/crap-tele-chronyskulls/suckcesspool-10-commandments/

Sayak Shome said...

Great! :D
It reminds me of the rules, two of my friends and I had framed in class XI. When I look back I see those 3 idiots in the last row busy discussing the various forms of magnetism between a boy and a girl, while the Chemistry teacher was teaching the Molecular Orbital Theory and explaining how paramagnetism or dimagnetism can be determined in a molecule. :P

Sue said...

Gyanban -- OK

Sayak -- LOL

E said...

"Thou shat not swing thy pendulum all the way from ‘here’ (the Physics Lab) to Anakapalli."

ROFL!!! I forgot that one!

I miss those physics classes!! Man!He was such a comedian!

Padma said...

Oh my god! If it isn't The N commandments!!! If I remember correctly, although the printout that made it's way to the staffroom clearly said 'Copyright Padmapriya', nobody ever believed it was me. I guess I really was above the "law", huh? :) Thanks so much, Sue, for putting these up!
@E - ROFL. I also remember squirrel-catching face and pongal-selling face being titles of honor given out to a select few in physics class.

eve's lungs said...

You wicked child ,you .
I wonder they did not put you on a three legged stool in the corner of assembly hall as an exemplary punishment to all students .

Sue said...

E -- Now I wonder if that's how he hung on to the last vestiges of his sanity. Can't have been easy dealing with the likes of us day in, day out.

Padma -- Pongal-selling face?? LOL I don't remember that one. It was quite unfair how everybody squarely laid the blame for these on my poor shoulders. *looks pi*

Evie -- Heh, I was safely done with school by the time these became public.