Monday, April 12, 2010

I'm trying to clear out my Gmail account

(I crossed the 95% mark but I blame the girls for that.)

Anyway, so I've been coming across all these mails. And now I see why Beq felt so abandoned, why Cousin T's departure meant so much and oh, I used to write so differently.

Found a paragraph that still echoes in the life I now lead:

I'm a permanent exile. No matter where I am, it's never where all the
people I love are. I realized that a good ten years ago. It's an
unsettling way to live. If I'm with the parents I won't have you and
vice versa. Or Esha or Soumya or Beq. Somebody is always left out of
the equation. I know I'd rather have you than the rest of them, but
some days I miss them and wish it could be possible for a few months
maybe, to have it all.
'You' being Vicky, since this mail was written to him.

Another mail, to my Shejomama, went thus in the middle:

About marriage plans, check with Mater. I chose the chappie and have
been told that's all the say I have in these matters.
Chappie being a nice chappie. Told Mejomama about him, I remember.
Very worthy sort of chap, but not too worthy, know what I mean? So
he's no Austrian millionaire (not a count) but he does speak Bengali
and the Didima was categorical upon that being vital, ages ago when I
told her I had decided to marry after all, someday. And I rather
believe he owns a millionth part of a tea-estate or maybe that's only
through various other relatives who have to be slaughtered before I
can claim it.

...

Someday you'll meet Vicky – that's the chappie – and I do believe
you'll approve. He's the kind of person everybody approves of. That's
why I called him worthy. You'll like him because he's fun so long as
he isn't busy going silent. But he has a wicked sense of humour and
you will admit that is very important. Incidentally, Ma calls him
Soubhik (determined to be formal about it) and gives unsuspecting
people the impression that I'm two-timing my boyfriends… Mejomamidida
(at Bhowanipur) thought so, as did sundry other cousins etc. I ask
you! A conservative young woman like me being subjected to cold looks
because my own family believes I stir the broth with two ladles…
didn't that sound deliciously lewd?
And here's a lovely couple of lines from Beq:

There's the age- old adage (which I will create in a second) that "if you are bored then drink!!!" Which is precisely what you should be doing you know...
What's the Vicks vaporub up to? Why isn't he cuddling you AND mollycoddling you?
Vicks Vaporub. LOL.

9 comments:

Shuktara said...

Awww... But it's near impossible to be in a place where all the people you love are there with you. And as you grow older, that concept becomes more and more removed (for me at least). But it's not that bad because I think you can carry your people with you. And in every place you live in, there will be at least one person who you love. Or there will be a thing in it that you'll love. Speaking for myself, I want to find a city/place I consider home. I'm still looking for that place. In the meantime, I'm in a place where I have people who count as homes -- and some of these people I didn't really consider to be "home" before :-). I think you'll know what I mean...

itchingtowrite said...

story of my life- the first one- someone always is left out naa. whats the point in working like a dog to hav a good life when people who matter - u see them only once in a while

E said...

Vicks Vaporub!!! rofl...muahahahaha!

Jidhu Jose said...

who is beq?

Beq said...

eije khanki, eishob senti bull na post kore ektu ahom niye lekh. sen and i are of the same opinion. kisno

Sue said...

Shuki -- I know what you mean. :)

Itchy -- We should have married millionaires, yaar. Then we could have flown around meeting whoever we wanted whenever we wanted. As it is Vicky teases me about spending all our money on airfare. :(

On that note, COME TO CALCUTTA.

E -- ;)

Jidhu -- The chap who commented after you.

Beq -- Eije dhupkati, Sen would never call me khanki. Koli.

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Lovely writing. Absolutely lovely. Felt your heart beating loud and clear in those lines there.

Just Like That said...

YOU have a wicked sense of humour too. :-D have you at least found out the tea estate relatives???

Sue said...

M4 -- Thanks

JLT -- The estate's been sold, so there go my plans of doing a Lady Macbeth!