Friday, October 16, 2009

Opinions I’ve Changed

When I was a teen I was pretty sure I’d always feel the way I did then about things. Funnily enough, in less than a decade, I’ve changed my mind about many of them.

1. Jewellery on men. I was brought up to think this was as wrong as wrong could get, but this was before George Michael entered my life. Know what I’m saying? I don’t always dig the jewellery men wear but I now know it can look very, very right. Vicky wore a couple of my anklets strung into a necklace for a while once and believe you me, it was hot.

2. Bikes and SUVs. I used to find them really sexy. Now I equate bikes with bad driving and messy hair and SUVs with bad driving and fuel waste. I like cars these days. I still like convertibles as much as ever.

3. Behenjis/Ammammas/Aunty types/Maamis. I like re-defining these terms now. But I’ve never really had a problem being called Aunty, come to think of it, although I did get a jolt last month when a shopkeeper in New Market called me Boudi.

4. Abortions. I’m no longer as judgmental as I was wont to be. I’ve never said that one should be forced to keep an unwanted pregnancy but I’ve often thought that people who had them didn’t try hard enough to keep the kid. I guess I’ve grown up about this.

5. My parents. I always thought they sucked at parenting but I now think they did a darn good job. Of course, Ma continues to insist that I brought myself up and that she and Baba oughtn’t be held responsible.

6. Clothes. In my early teens I continued to think clothes were over-rated. Now I may not remember people but I mostly remember what clothes they wore. Or I can be made to remember people from a description of the clothes they wore.

7. Waxing. I’m so very comfortable with my hairy arms now. I look at them occasionally, and mentally chide myself for not caring enough. And then I go back to my hairy existence.

8. Crackers. We as a family were never big on bombs or even crackers in general but we always had some every Diwali. Now that I have to buy them myself, it feels too much like burning money so we buy very little. I prefer to spend my money on mustard oil for diyas (which somehow doesn’t feel like burning money.) On that note, a Bihari vendor rang my bell this morning, selling fresh ghee. It smelt wonderful. I bought 250 gm at Rs. 60.

9. What other people think of me. It still matters but it matters so much less than it used to. I don’t lie awake nights wondering if I should have said this or not done that. I still analyse my behaviour but it doesn’t keep me up at night.

10. Money. I always wanted to marry money or earn lots because I wanted the lifestyle. But all my choices have been directed (deliberately or not) at a very laidback lifestyle. We seem to always teeter on the verge of not having enough but we seem to pull through too, touchwood.

So what have you changed your mind about in these last ten years?


hack said...

can i use this list of topics to write on in my blog?

GettingThereNow said...

I am going to pick this up as a tag. May I?

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

I agree with most of your views. Except the hairy arms.

sumana001 said...

My Number 11 on that list would be "MEN"! But rather than being self-explanatory, I would need 13 days to explain that!

starry eyed said...

Gawrsh yes....this qualifies as a totally take-up-able tag! agreed with all your opinion-changes!

dipali said...

I must have changed more opinions than clothes since I was in my teens.
I will excavate in long ago memories and dredge up what can be found!

Poppins said...

A lovely post - this is tag-worthy for sure. Lets see..I can't remember all of them but one thing that I recall is that I was of the opinion that childbearing was overrated. Was actually firmly on the other side. Strange!

You remember clothes? I am the reverse- I used to remember then, not now.

stg said...

1. (In)Fidelity - I have come to understand there are reasons, and do not judge it anymore. But to be fair to me, I stopped judging it around 18, when i was still a teen.

2. Delhi "culture" - Much more tolerant now than i was earlier.

3. Pop music - Much more tolerant now.

4. Fashionable women - I no longer think skyhigh heels and tank tops and streaked hair go with either a cold or a "blond" personality. Not been able to change my opinion on fashionable men though.

5. People who watch Soap Operas - Are not essentially regressive and/or limited. Sometimes they may just be bored. My best friend was.

6. Love - I used to think it's meant to last forever, and had a starry eyed view of it. Have come to know that love can exist without passion, and without the tag of "forever" attached to it. Still to internalise it though, while it makes sense to me in logic and theory.


I still think the same of "look-look-we-are-so-cool-it-amazes-us" people, though. Really cool people seldom realise they are cool.

YL is cool.

stg said...

And incidentally, You are cool, Sue.

stg said...

I read somewhere that the sure sign of knowing how old you look is how people address u, atleast in a city like Delhi - you go from being a Baby, to Didi, to Bhabhiji, to Behenji, to Aunty, to Mataji.

Grafx said...

i like this list. and i am pleasantly surprised because i am more like you on this list than i thought!

the money part is so complicates life so much and when you have less you realize that decisions get less complicated when there's less of a choice. :D
this post makes me happy!!

The Orange Cat said...

I used to think that getting older was cool.

Shuktara said...

This would make for a very popular Facebook note :-). If you put it up, I shall do my 10.

Sue said...

Hack, Cee, Starry, -- Be my guest.

AQC -- When you've to shave or wax or cream all the time, suddenly hairy becomes very acceptable. I have less hair than some but I still couldn't be arsed these days.

Sumana -- Go on, explain. And leave me the link!

Dipali -- More opinions than clothes? LOL

Poppy -- Child bearing IS over-rated. My op now, diff from my op pre-motherhood. :)

STG -- What's YL, then? I fear that q just lost me my coolth. :)

And in Cal you go from Didi to Boudi to Mashima to Ma to Dida.

Grafx -- Less of a choice, heh.

Orane Cat -- Getting older is really rather cool. It gets cooler the older I get.

Shuki -- Why don't you start the FB tag? I'll enjoy reading it.

karmickids said...

Totally cool. Might take this as a tag on thirtysix.

Mama - Mia said...


great read Sue! and agree with most bits you said. except clothes perhaps. didnt understand em then, so didnt remember... still dont! :)

rest of it i really dunno how much i have changed. does that mean i am stubborn?! :p

Anonymous said...

Since I will hit my 30 year old milestone soon, I had been thinking all the changes that happened to me and my thoughts in the last 10 years and this blog post is so similar to that ; I have to hog both your comment space.

10 years back I was a small town college girl all of 18 years and now I work for corporate Amreeka

Alcohol – having seen only really bad drunk ppl and alcoholics in my life, I hated ppl who drink .. in fact I never used to talk to guys who drink .. all that changed and now needless to say I luv drinking 

Grooming / Make-up – 10 years back I believed in being a natural beauty and never shaped my “kroor singh” eyebrows nor waxed my manly hairy arms.. And now I need to get my monthly pedicure, manicures, and facials done.
Same with make-up – was happy with a cream and some powder (not even lakme , it was cuticura ) and now I need my mascaras and lipsticks and foundations before I step out

One and only one Love – fortunately the one and only one love worked for me .. but I used to be so judgmental of ppl who had lot of break-ups and had many boyfrnds …
It because I was observing them from a distance.. Once I became frnds with them, I realized they are too soft and gullible and madly in love with life and they think with heart rather than ppl like me who think with their head …and that’s why they fall in and out of love so often …

Dressing Style – I used to be totally covered up in a V shaped duppatta with full sleeves  and now spaghetti tops, halter tops mini skirts and shorts are what I love

Judgmental on a variety of topics – My views on pre-marital sex, live in relationships, abortions, same sex couples – for that matter almost every controversial topic has changed from “NO, NEVER” to “To each his/her own”


Anonymous said...

One thing I'm glad I did was become a panelist with NPD Research. Being a panelist, I am able to share opinions with people who can actually act upon them and make things happen. Its a good way to make changes, what do you think.

Engee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the mad momma said...

:) funny. a lot of stuff on that list. as well as fair men. married one.

Sue said...

MM -- LOL! Yes, I'd say you've got over your fair hangup. I ended up marrying somebody from the right caste and stuff, to my horror. :)

Sue said...

Sorry, I thought I'd replied to all.

Kiran -- I liked your post, I hope I left a comment.

Abha -- LOL That probably means you had fewer intolerant tendencies to start with!

Anamika -- You've come a long way, haven't you? I'm glad you don't judge the girl you were, many people tend to look down on their former selves.

Anon -- That's some smart spam. Impressive.