Me: So, when I die, I want you to play Father Figure at my shaad (baby shower)… no, dammit, I mean shraddha (funeral).
V: (patently uninterested) What’s that?
Me: (rolling my eyes) Michael Jackson, silly! Dammit, I mean George Michael.
Me: (tearful) You wouldn’t respect my final wish, is this how you’d treat the only wife you have…
V: (cutting in) But this is not your final wish, I’m sure you’ll come up with plenty more in the years to come.
I can’t decide if he’s laughing at me, telling me he would like me to live long, shuddering at the prospect of my longevity or… if he’s just laughing at me. For my next husband I’m picking one who doesn’t make it a hobby to laugh at me!