Sunday, April 05, 2009

Who Watches the Watchmen?

... is something I've always wondered.

This week, first Vicky, then Rahul and finally I were slain by a nasty bug. It started off with blocked noses, sneezing and discomfort and eventually escalated to a fever before going away.

With all three of us down one after the other, I was wondering if we need to re-organise our lives. We need a home-maker very badly. Vicky has his work and I'm away all day. We need somebody to look after us, and cosset us, and bring us medicine when we're too weak to get up from the bed in the middle of the night. We need, in short, a person to do what we've always taken for granted from our mothers.

Since the mother in this house is me, I've been wondering, maybe, for a tiny family like ours, two working parents is a bad idea. I like the job and it's finally got me hooked, but at what price?

I can't wait for my parents to move back to Cal.


Anonymous said...

You do what your heart and mind desires after they've arrived at the same place. Sometimes it takes an instant, and in some occasions they spar off. It really is tricky.

Rimi said...

As a child of two working parents, I can tell you, I would have HATED to have had a parent home all the time. My friends who had home-maker mothers or retired parents used to wave off going home all the time, because "They are always there, you know".

As a woman biologically and socially of a parental age, I know if I stay at home, I will channel my mind and energies into taking control of my partner and child's life, and I doubt that shall be appreciated. So the two-working parent formula really works for me (esp. if dadu-didu type people are around). But, you know. Whatever floats your boat :-)

Bhalo theko.

Subhashree said...

Are they moving back? So your visits down here will get reduced? Waahh...

On a serious note, sometimes listening to the body helps. You don't have to stop working. Try some arrangement like if one of the spouses is ill, the other will take the day off and tend to the sick one.

Subhashree said...

And ppl in the Sue household, get well soon.

IBH said...

Huggy Huggy Sue....! take care...and take some rest...

Aathira said...

Get well soon all~

My mom is a SAHM, but she was not too happy to give up work, and the interaction with the outside world. She always missed that, and she found other things to interest her.

Hence I feel that she should have continued working as that is what she enjoyed the most and she was just trying to find something to match up to that always.

After seeing her, I am not sure I would give up working.

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Hugs to the Sunny family.

And yes, having parents around is a boon!

Mama - Mia said...

oh well! no point trying to tale decisions with tired mind, no?!

and homemakers AND their kids fall ill too!

whateva works for you sue is good for ya!



Anonymous said...

When i was a SAHM, i fell sick and was completely down for a week. The house came to a standstill and R and N were living on maggi and cerelac respectively. Thats when i finally decided i needed someone who can at least do some basic cooking and keep the house in order when i'm out of gear. since the help arrived, i even started going to office for a few hours.

What I'm saying is that irrespective of working or not, everyone can fall sick. also whethr working or not working, we could all do with some extra help from someone. take care.

Monika,Ansh said...

Get well soon Sue and get a helper/maid.

Mystic Margarita said...

How are you guys now? Hope all of you are feeling better.

Sparx said...

Oh, having grandparents to help must be amazing... I hope you're feeling better, it's miserable caring for children when the whole family is ill.

GettingThereNow said...

I think this has nothing to do with two working parents. Even if you were home full time, this would have happened if you had all fallen sick at the same time. Hugs to all the sick people in your house. Hope you are all better now.

Sue said...

Kowthas -- My mind and heart have to contend with an Extremely Lazy body, and that means I don't want to stay at home but I don't want to work either. :)

Rimi -- Our main problem just now is the paucity of a support system. I mean, the grandparents are rather caught up and more in need of support than in the position of offering it, if you know what I mean. But yes, we are getting by. And where me and home are concerned, it's always a case of better out than in.

Subha -- My folks move back next year but my visits are reduced anyway because of the job. :(

Vicky and I have been trying to minimise the days we take of because we've needed just so much time of for his dad's medical emergencies. It's OK, as I said said, we're coping.

IBH -- Thanks, hon, a lot.

Aathira -- I suppose, having seen all our mums, none of us want to leave work. SAHM certainly did not work for me.

M4 -- Thank you! *hugs M4 back*

Abha, Cee -- Yes, you're right of course. I could stay at home and we could all still fall ill!

akaMonika -- I know, and we had a support system in place till recently. We do have a maid for the basic cleaning and we have takeout options for food. What we all wanted then was somebody to do the mothering!

Monika -- We did get well, thanks, and we've had a part-timer since November.

Mystic -- We're much better, thanks for asking.

Sparx -- Miserable is the word. I can't wait for my parents to move back to Cal next year!