Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I wanted to write about the Mehta case

but didn't have any time while it was still strong in my mind. And I'll say this now: it's not for some judge sitting in a court to tell any parents that they must take care of a child.

Yes, we need law makers and enforcers but that is to create and conserve a better social situation. I cannot think that forcing parents to unwillingly give birth to a child they do not want is in any way furthering this aim.

All these tests we have these days, these blood tests and scans and whathaveyous during ones pregnancy, it's all to monitor the foetal growth so you have some idea of what's ahead. Well, I think if you are made to test for congenital diseases, you should also be given the right to decide whether to have that child or not.

I faced that option every night for several months while I thought I had a problem pregnancy and honestly, I cannot say I would have made a good mother to a child with special needs. But yes, I would rather give birth and try to give that child of mine the best life I could. If a parent does not feel this -- and I don't think it's unnatural -- then it is wrong to force her/him to have such a baby. It's not the same as giving birth and then finding out that your baby has a problem. In this case the parents were not just unwilling, but determined enough to move court over this. Why force this child into the world?

Just as I do not believe anybody but the parents should decide on an MTP (Medically Terminated Pregnancy) I also do not think anybody but the parents can actually decide to go ahead with a potentially dangerous pregnancy. Dangerous for the marriage, for the couple's financial stability, mental states.

I'm very clear on this. I would have kept the child, but I do not like the idea of living in a society where I would have been forced to keep such a child willy nilly. I find I always do things better when I'm not being forced to do them.


Anonymous said...

I agree with you hands down. I am very sorry for this family. It is easy for some one more so a judge to sit on the high chair and pass a judgement. One has to realise that eventually it is those 2 people who will bear the consequences. Bringing up a child is difficult. The costs involved in taking care of a unwell child are enormous. It gets even harder when one knows the prognosis isn't all that good.

Good to know we agree.

artnavy said...

i really think it is a personal decision- no right or wrong and one size fits all

who r we to judge- they must be under so much stress as it is

Anonymous said...

Hi Sue,

I am an avid reader of blogs. I read this pertinent issue as a news feeds and also as some blog feeds I read.

Some of them [http://elekhni.com/2008/08/abortion-and-the-niketa-mehta-case/]are a little more expressive and discerned the foetus to be a part of the mother's body, thereby tender her the prerogative whether to retain refuse it!

I am in a shaky ground myself to find out a binary right or wrong here. But I think you are a little more leniant to support what you would not have done yourself.

But, I do like your thought, that, no one should micromanage our live, even if it is the judiciary! If the foetus is allowed to prognosed upon then there should be a way to trump out MTP, if found positive.

karmickids said...

Wrote about this too...specially with my experience with the brat. It is hell to have a child who is different, physically, emotionally, and financially. And if the parents dont feel they are upto the task ahead, it is completely within their prerogative to decide what to do. I agree, no court should compel a parent to go through such a pregnancy.

SUR NOTES said...

hey nice post sue.

SUR NOTES said...

i wanted to add...(before i inadvertently hit publish)

to know that you would have kept your child, and to still be able to understand and not judge someone else's decision is what i admire about your stance.

Rohini said...

Amen. Couldn't have said it better...