Sunday, May 11, 2008

So I'm just taking a huge risk

... and saying, things seem to be on the mend at home. Caught myself smiling at V this evening. It's been a while.

I hope he has understood one thing at least. My anger is far less damaging in its implications and expressions than my indifference. And I blog only about the people and things I care for. If I were indifferent, I wouldn't waste my time.

It's funny, in a way. Used to be madly passionate about so many things. But motherhood made me list out my priorities, and now I've finally learnt to not care about the rest of the world. I have a couple of friends, precisely two, whose vagaries I'm used to, and a couple more, who are a little less close but who I'm pretty comfortable being around. I write about them. And I write about my work, my days, what amuses me, and that last includes my husband and kid. It'd be a shame if they weren't a part of this blog, a place I come to everyday. I'll be frank. I'm not one who can neatly compartmentalise her life, and I like my family brought into my work (although not so much vice versa, thank you!) so I cannot imagine leaving them off the blog.

If somebody thinks that's exploitative, well, their problem. Not mine, my husband's or my son's. They know I write about them because it's hard to leave them out of my stuff. Not because I think they make for attractive reading. And it's weird how people think I spill my guts out here, because, I'm sorry, but I really don't. I only tell as much as I'd tell a stranger at a bus-stop to unburden myself. I've often thought if V had a similar outlet, he and I would deal much better together. It's easier to get back to your senses once you've let off some steam.

Blank Noise Kolkata met today at Flury's and we had fun. Also discussed some serious work. Good, good.

NOTE: Inspired by Kiran and then Dooce.

6 comments:

Deepa said...

you rant all you want, sue. If blogs aren't meant for that I don't know why they exist in the first place. And the compartmentalising bit, know what you mean. Not possible for me either. Am a everything-bleeds-into-everything-else kind of person.

Swati said...

Ohh Sue ..dont bother ...blog what you want...its your blog after all

Itchingtowrite said...

take care!!

D said...

It's perfectly alright to blog about the people you love, escpecially if they know about it and are ok with it too. But when people I'm not so close to blog about me, it pisses me off. Just because we're related doesn't give them the licence to make me part of their writings.

Rimi said...

On the authority of NOT being one of the people you write about, and yet always having a good time when you're around, I think I can safely attest to the fact that those who think you spill your guts on this space are deluding themselves entirely.

Not that it's any of their business if you do, in fact, do. But it's always nice to point to presumption in other people :-)

Sue said...

Deepa -- You think life would be simpler if we learnt to compartmentalise? I do envy men their ability to switch off focus on domestic discord once they enter office. Sigh.

Swati -- Exactly. :)

Itchy -- Thanks.

D -- Like? I write about ppl I'm not so close to, and I worry that I'm pissing them off. I hope they tell me though, rather than just simmer on at home.

Rimi -- :D The appreciation is mutual, my child. Why does it have to take work at ungodly hours to make us meet though, I'd like to know!