Saturday, May 24, 2008

Pillow Talk or What Not to Say If You Want To Get Laid

While checking mail.

Sue: Do you want to enlarge your penis? I have about 20 different mails here telling you they'll show you how to do it cheap. And it's all herbal.

V: [encouragingly] Why don't you go in for it?

Cuddling at night.

Sue: I love you.

V: [Half asleep] Hmm... me too.

Sue: So we'll call you Rasna from now on, ok?

V: Huh?

Sue: You know... I love you Rasna!

[Not surprisingly, this didn't lead to bigger, better, er, happenings that night.]

Cuddling, another night.

Sue: So... [fill in suitable foreplayish talk]

V: Oh and did I tell you, your parents called. [Blah blah]

Sue: [stunned silence]

half an hour later

Sue: As I was saying, [fill in erotic talk once more]

V: Yes?

Sue: Oh and I completely forgot to mention, you know, that idiot friend of yours, T, today he [blah blah]

V: [stunned silence]

I know what you're thinking. But it wasn't a deliberate thing. It's just that we both don't know when to just shut up and get on with it.


Mona said...

tee hee

dipali said...

Priceless eejits, the pair of you:)

D said...

Ha ha! Tell me about it! No amount of reading Great Sex tips in Cosmo can help!

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha...this is truly funny. my husband starts talking in shudh hindi at wrong times.

Anonymous said...

OK when I stop smiling like the idiot I am and actually compose my thoughts so I can tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog because of it's raw purity I shall come back and say so. For now I just want to let you know, I came I read and I an going back smiling.

aargee said...

hahahaha... sue, I guess we shouldn't marry when we are very young :) ( I don't know why I said that)
we both are quite similar :)

Suki said...

Love you guys :D

Spontaneity and Afterthought said...

Came to your blog hop hopping all the way.... read some of your posts... u r funny.

IBH said...

ahahha! funny one! it is even funnier when I can relate! like last night , we were in the *mood* and all I could talk to him was about saggy breasts and how after another baby I might have to have a bra made out of steel to be used ;)) so that it doesnt nive out and make me look bear chested!

we laughed so hard that after which we just went off to slumberland...cuddling each other! :)

good again again Sue!

IBH said...

ok! that was supposed to be written flat chested! :) this is why you shouldnt read articles in wall street journal and also blogs :)

Sue said...

Mon -- ;)

Dipali -- You may have a point there. But I don't know about priceless. I can be bought. If the price is right. Ahem.

D -- Exactly!

Booboosmama -- Do you want me to call you that here? Just asking. And yes, I can imagine it'd be pretty awful timing. Sounds like something I'd do. :D

EU -- Sure, that's what I blog for. In the meantime, "raw purity"? You give me too much credit mon ami.

Aargee -- OK, after a comment like that I demand some sort of example. What have you said/done to match this? Come on, spit it out.

Suki -- :)

S and A -- Really? Here I thought I was handing out useful tips to all and sundry and everybody is busy laughing. It's an ungrateful world, I find.

IBH -- LOL! Yeah, been there, done that. Or when we're both sitting with books, and one suggests moving to bed, and the other agrees and we keep reading until one or both falls asleep. Then we finally go to bed, only to fall asleep holding each other!

Itchingtowrite said...

ha ha haa

Maggie said...

LOL! This is why us old married couples don't talk and just do it! :-D

Sue said...

Itchy -- That pretty much sums it up.

Maggie -- :) We have nights when that happens. And nights when this happens.

Squiggles Mom said...

Sue - You always crack me up. And can you accept my poke so I can poke you again!!!

Monika said...

Oh.....I love your blog with each This was truely funny & I ma sure most of s can relate at some level or the other !

Swati said...

hahhaha..LOL ..even I dont know when to shut up :P

Thinking Cramps said...

This is priceless, just like so much else you say.

Am going to laugh about it from time to time now.

Sue said...

Squiggle's Mom -- Done!

Monika -- Really? Tell your story then!

Swati -- ;)

Ana! -- Long time no see. How've you been?

Just Like That said...


Anonymous said...

I like your blog, its honest and very real. Dropped in via Indiblogger and am adding you. Have been lurking here and this made me unlurk. Every one can relate to this post.

Sue said...

JLT -- :)

PhoenixRitu -- Hello. Yes, I can see folks can relate, from the emails and comment responses to this one. Cosmo would get a great story out of it!