Mad Momma's latest tag got me checking up on what was popular when I turned 18 (in 2000, and I hope that makes you feel old. It does me.) And there was Britney Spears, a fairly attractive young girl. Maybe I didn't think too highly of her music or her dress sense even but I really had nothing against her.
And then she went and got herself in and out of relationships and although I'm usually an avid reader of the gossip column, I wasn't following her life all that closely because I was in university and that took up most of my attention, the bits I had left over from closely scrutinising myself and agonising over my life. You know, because I'm a navel-gazer, when I get the time to be. Then one fine day I hear she's had a baby and there was a slight sense of shock. The kind you feel when somebody you were kids with (if you know what I mean) grows up on you. And then she had another one, and this when I was going through my own horrible pregnancy and I was wondering why she would do that to herself, when I remembered that I hadn't done it to myself either -- V had done it to me (and boy will he pay for the rest of his life.) So then I started feeling a little bit sorry for her. I mean, kids are cool, and I'm sure she had plenty of help, but it's not nice feeling like an elephant for two straight years.
Then came a series of events. She went without panties. (So? Like you've never done that? Really? Never in a short skirt?) She held her son on her lap in the car. She shaved off her hair. Got a tattoo too, I hear. Blah blah.
What have I done since we got me a Bhablet? We'll pass over the panty issue. It's none of your business, and I do know how to get out of a car without flashing. I have once held The Bhablet in my lap in the front passenger seat. That happened because we had an adult Golden Retriever in the backseat. I didn't think I was doing the right thing but sitting at the back wasn't an option. But yes, I have made sure that has not happened again. I haven't shaved off my hair, but I did burn it (by accident) when I was going through a particularly depressed phase a couple of years ago, and I ended up chopping shoulder length hair into a very close crop. Last month I got a tattoo. Why are any of those things objectionable?
Like this mum, I don't think any of us mothers are in any position to hold a spotlight to the mistakes that other mothers make. And if you are a perfectionist or particularly exacting, then you must have even less of a righteous stand, because no baby will let you bring it up the way you think it should, and therefore, by your own lights, you're probably failing more often than the rest of us lazy bums. And as Dooce points out, when we were all learning to cope in those ghastly early months, none of us would have come out very well in paperazzi stalking. (Thanks MM, for the links.)
I have no idea why Britney Spears does what she does. But I think it's a dangerous trend when you have
Yes, MM wrote about this earlier, but she copied it from me, because I just wrote about it, didn't I? Now don't argue.