The one thing I really object to in such a little baby is how he fights sleep. It's just not on! He shakes his head from side to side, in an effort to shake the sleepiness out of him, and he gets crankier and crankier the sleepier he gets. He keeps fighting until quite suddenly, worn out by the tremendous effort all this entails, he falls fast asleep.
You know what's worse? He has his own spot on the bed, banked by pillows, and so long as he is in it, all is well. But if he is outside, if I let him sleep alongside me (sometimes, in the middle of the night, I feed him lying down and we both nod off while that's happening), usually I am woken up by kicks. Fast asleep, he keeps on kicking me. I keep moving, so as not to inadvertently fall asleep on top of him. This goes on till I find myself falling out of bed.
You know what this means, don't you? This means WAR.
He has already begun the offensive, mind you. He goes tale-tattling to my parents, and even my grandmother (who is visiting us) gets to know of all my 'perfidities'. The little fink.
I have decided that in a short while, as soon as he is a little older, I shall give him two hefty thumps as soon as he gets up each morning. He is bound to justify the spanking during the course of the day, is the way I see it. Of course, when I announced my intention at the lunch table it was met with cries of horror and consternation, not to mention improper threats against my person. (I'm married, dammit and a mother, I will not be scolded if I decide to thump my own son -- who definitely asks for it.)
Ever since V left, over a month ago, I tried to show unusual (for me) patience, love and affection, figuring that he's a Very Little Boy who would undoubtedly have been spoilt by his father, and since the father isn't around, he mustn't miss out on the spoiling. Well, hah! From now on, my theme song will be this one:
Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes:
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases.