Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Fidgety Fudge – Unity in Diversity

As you might remember, a certain small baby was given the name of Fidgety Fudge as a working title until another, more appropriate name could be bestowed. That was soon shortened to Fudge, or more popularly Fidgety, by my parents, uncles and aunts. In this blog, which is generally noted for its cleanliness and wholesomeness of language and content (well, more or less), I cut the F-word down even more ruthlessly and used only the alphabet F.

This afternoon my parents had fun over the telephone figuring out what their precious grandchild that will be, will be called if we live in:

Maharashtra – Fidgeya

Bihar – Fidguwa

Uttar Pradesh – Fidgetylal

Rajasthan – Fidgetyram

Tamil Nadu – S. Fidgeyanan (S. for father’s name, of course)

Andhra Pradesh – Sai Fidgety Srinivas (No AP name is really complete without a Sai and a Srinivas in it, trust me.)

West Bengal – Pheeju, but of course

and Pheejeya in Bangladesh

I petulantly declared that I rather fancied calling my child by a Muslim name. My pet name (one of the two) is Arabic in origin and anyway, I like the sound of most Muslim names. My father, not to be outdone, called back in a couple of minutes and announced that I could call the baby Fiza Ali.

Since then, it struck my parents that they will be having a granddaughter. (It's a battle of wills between me and the rest of the world. Everybody wants a girl, so I've decided the baby's a boy. Won't they look stupid on the 25th, hah!) So anyway, my father sent me the list, edited. The bits in blue are for the girl, of course. Including the names contributed by you guys, here it is:

Maharashtra - Fidgeya - Fijibai

Bihar - Fidguwa - agey Phiji gey

Uttar Pradesh - Fidgetylal - Fiju Khatun (All UPites are Muslim)

Rajasthan - Fidgetyram - Fidgeshwari Devi

Tamil Nadu - S. Fidgeyanan (S. for father's name, of course) - K. S. Fijulakshmi (K for Kolkata, i.e. place of birth)

Andhra Pradesh - Sai Fidgety Srinivas (No AP name is really complete without a Sai and a Srinivas in it, trust me.) - Satya Sai Fidgika

West Bengal - Pheeju, but of course - Pheejoo

and Pheejeya in Bangladesh - Haramjadi (All girls are thus addressed)

Readers' contributions:

In Gujju land it would have been Fidgesh Shah - Phijuben Suratwali

in AP would be A.V.S.K.P.Fidgugaru - Satya Sai Fidgika, BE (Comp Sc)

And in Punjab, it would be Fidginder Singh AKA Fijjy - Gurfidge Kaur

N.B. All political incorrectness is from my father. Me, I'm usually far more diplomatic, but I didn't want to edit his comments here. Take it in the spirit it's meant.

Oh yes, and since I bet you're wondering, I was and still am usually called haramjadi. Occasionally bojjat maagi. When he's mad at me, or upset at my various negative points, he usually calls me by the names of his sisters. Go figure.


WishfulThinker said...

In gujju land it would have been Fidgesh Shah. Muhahahahahaha!!!! But I'm originally and AP'ite and my name ain't got either Sai or a Srinivas. Hah! And although I also dont have more than two names in my full name, you wouldn't have been too far from the truth if F in AP would be A.V.S.K.P.Fidgugaru. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Rimi said...

Pregnancy. Temporary insanity. Connect.

Not that difficult, trust me :-)

Beq said...

How bout assalaam walekum? It sounds like something out of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Sue said...

Wishful - See, you're an incomplete AP'ite. F won't attain 'garu' status till it's much older, I'm sure. Now it's only at the chinnapaapa stage... (Now you've made me go all mushy!)

Rimi - Yes, but I didn't know it got the relatives first.

Beq - Go read the book, and then we'll talk. It sounds nothing like it! And yr mum came today, was telling me about yr babyhood :D

Rohini said...

And in Punjab, it would be Fidginder Singh AKA Fijjy

Srin said...

Hi, have a safe delivery and all that. I dont know you personally but we have a lot of common acquaintances (in case you think random comments like these are a little freaky). :)

Sue said...

Rohini - See update.

Srin - Hullo. I know we don't know each other personally but I have seen you around. Thanks.

Sue's dad said...

I have been wondering what it would be called in another far away Indian state - Fiji. Might it be Baratlucky Fijhind Qumharee if a girl? And one of you people now name the boy?

And Phuli was wrong - phool is Farsi, not Arabic - Arabs are not phools...

Sue's Dad again said...

I had just written that phool was Farsi. Sorry. It was not. It comes into Hindi from a broken Farsi dialect called Dari, spoken only in some provinces of Afghanistan. So Iranians, like Arbas, are not phools either. That leaves the area from Herat to Barisal/Chittagong...

vuttaa said...

c'mOn, how cud u even 4get the great land of MalayaLees, who have much in common wid their bengaLee counterparts!! take fish, red, dharmoghats and ofcourse that wagging Lee tail..

so, why not FidgetiPad (nambooripad, remember?) or may be S.K.FAir (Nairs cares u know!) will suit most of ur desired parameters! :)

jokes apart, wish u all the best..

WishfulThinker said...

Muhahahahahaha!!! I feel your pater is good drinking-buddy material.

Srin said...

Thats nice :). Happy baby-ing.

Sue said...

Baba - I meant Ayesha, not Phuli. I'm afraid Fiji names are entirely beyond me.

Vutta - We didn't forget. Were just waiting for authentic contributions, you know? So thanks!

Wishful - Ah, you shd see his bar... Mind you, he doesn't drink so much with my friends. And then only if he finds them worthy.

Srin - :)

that girl in pink said...

ha ha! well at least the baby has a ready pet name if not a real one.
how you doing? just a few more days to go. how exciting!

KAMiNi said...

If the kid was in Pondy and had 'French Citizenship' or aspired to it - he'd be Phidhjaetttye and the girl would be Pheedhjeaetttyeee Koumarie. :D

Amit Roy said...

Phoolish phantasy

Amit Roy said...

Phoolish phantasy

Sumit Roy said...

Since the F word is how babies are created in the first place, a son should thus be called Fukroo and a daughter Fukija.