As you might remember, a certain small baby was given the name of Fidgety Fudge as a working title until another, more appropriate name could be bestowed. That was soon shortened to Fudge, or more popularly Fidgety, by my parents, uncles and aunts. In this blog, which is generally noted for its cleanliness and wholesomeness of language and content (well, more or less), I cut the F-word down even more ruthlessly and used only the alphabet F.
This afternoon my parents had fun over the telephone figuring out what their precious grandchild that will be, will be called if we live in:
Maharashtra – Fidgeya
Bihar – Fidguwa
Uttar Pradesh – Fidgetylal
Rajasthan – Fidgetyram
Tamil Nadu – S. Fidgeyanan (S. for father’s name, of course)
Andhra Pradesh – Sai Fidgety Srinivas (No AP name is really complete without a Sai and a Srinivas in it, trust me.)
West Bengal – Pheeju, but of course
and Pheejeya in Bangladesh
I petulantly declared that I rather fancied calling my child by a Muslim name. My pet name (one of the two) is Arabic in origin and anyway, I like the sound of most Muslim names. My father, not to be outdone, called back in a couple of minutes and announced that I could call the baby Fiza Ali.
Since then, it struck my parents that they will be having a granddaughter. (It's a battle of wills between me and the rest of the world. Everybody wants a girl, so I've decided the baby's a boy. Won't they look stupid on the 25th, hah!) So anyway, my father sent me the list, edited. The bits in blue are for the girl, of course. Including the names contributed by you guys, here it is:
Maharashtra - Fidgeya - Fijibai
Bihar - Fidguwa - agey Phiji gey
Uttar Pradesh - Fidgetylal - Fiju Khatun (All UPites are Muslim)
Rajasthan - Fidgetyram - Fidgeshwari Devi
Tamil Nadu - S. Fidgeyanan (S. for father's name, of course) - K. S. Fijulakshmi (K for Kolkata, i.e. place of birth)
Andhra Pradesh - Sai Fidgety Srinivas (No AP name is really complete without a Sai and a Srinivas in it, trust me.) - Satya Sai Fidgika
West Bengal - Pheeju, but of course - Pheejoo
and Pheejeya in Bangladesh - Haramjadi (All girls are thus addressed)
In Gujju land it would have been Fidgesh Shah - Phijuben Suratwali
in AP would be A.V.S.K.P.Fidgugaru - Satya Sai Fidgika, BE (Comp Sc)
And in Punjab, it would be Fidginder Singh AKA Fijjy - Gurfidge Kaur
N.B. All political incorrectness is from my father. Me, I'm usually far more diplomatic, but I didn't want to edit his comments here. Take it in the spirit it's meant.
Oh yes, and since I bet you're wondering, I was and still am usually called haramjadi. Occasionally bojjat maagi. When he's mad at me, or upset at my various negative points, he usually calls me by the names of his sisters. Go figure.