Friday, August 25, 2006

Romance, Version II

Part of the reason I clung on for so long to memories of my first boyfriend was because that was such a deliciously romantic relationship. He damned the sniggers and sent me cards for Valentine’s (he had moved to another city by then) and he took me for long drives. He gave me single roses with the most charming of gestures. We looked meaningfully into each others’ eyes and plotted all day to find ways to be together without being conspicuous (the relationship was a ‘secret’).

Blah blah. Boyfriends 2, and then 3 (familiar to the cognoscenti as V) followed a similar pattern and the romance was still around, if rather diluted. Being mushy me, I had fond hopes of marriage, don’t you know. In fact, most of the fights between V and me these last seven months have been explained by my tearful “You didn’t do that before the marriage!”

This morning I realized the old romantic clouds are still around, only they look different. When I held up my face to be kissed as V was getting ready to leave for work, he gave me a harassed, “Later, let me finish dressing or I’ll forget stuff.” I pouted, but truthfully speaking, I hate being interrupted myself while I’m trying to sort out all the stuff I need for the day.

When I did get my kiss after all, we were all of 1.3 sec into it when the man suddenly cried out, “Garbage” and madly dashed out of the flat. And I cheered him on, because you see, the garbage hadn’t been collected this morning, and was lying outside on the verandah that’s our entrance, and an aunt had threatened to visit, and I really didn’t want hear about the housekeeping, and…

When the garbage takes priority over being kissed and dressing is more important than whims, you know things have changed. Only, as I realized this morning, the more they change, the more they remain the same.

Note to all women silly enough to be considering marriage:
He got me flowers and a huge teddy when he came to pick me up for dinner to celebrate our six-month (non-wedding) anniversary; but ever since we did get married, not only have we consistently fought every 22nd of every month, he also didn’t get me anything for my birthday, although God knows my request was simple enough. Don’t say nobody told you what to expect!

12 comments:

WishfulThinker said...

Not getting you anything for your birthday is inexcusable!

Anonymous said...

yes.. yes... inexcusable!

Grafxgurl said...

are you SURE we didnt marry brothers?

you know what.. i hate to be a parrot and keep repeating things.. but the similarity between you and me has now extended to our husbands.

we fight too now.. quite regularly as well.. had one last night...

and i still remember my first boyfriend too.. i do know why we would and could never get married....but i know this. our love was the strongest its ever been...and i can never forget the pain i felt in my heart when i had to say goodbye and leave Canada.

i can never forget him.. and neither will you. first love can never be forgotten..

i just feel so helpless sometimes... when i think about him and i tell myself maybe i shouldnt be....but then... love came so easily with him...and we were so good together....

i just dont know anymore.

Rohini said...

Just wait till sleep deprivation kicks in and then see what happens to romance...

Sue said...

Wishful - That's what I say. Particularly when you consider what I'd asked for...

Anon - Would you happen to be a mutual friend of me and a certain twerp's?

Grafx - Nah, your husband sounds way cuter than mine. Mine's a cartoon anyway. Tell those VISA ppl to hurry up, the distance is getting to the two of you, that's all really.

Rohini - Now you've given me a subject for a whole new whiney post. Thanks!

Laura said...

Sunny! dont do this to me now! Now Im never going to do it this year. Joy had just abt convinced me, dammit!

We'll come and see you as soon as the play sorts itself out a bit. joy shows interest in fellow Cancerian and asks abt u and baby. have been clueless, of course. Hope u's well.

that girl in pink said...

checking to see how you're doing and to make sure you're sleeping!
good luck with the delivery. :)

Rohini said...

Actually romance in the new post-baby world can be when your husband lets you sleep in a couple of hours in the morning while he watches the baby before he heads off to work. It doesn't look or sound like the romance you are used to - you just have to learn to recognize it in its new avatar.

Sue said...

Trina/Laura - First I thought you meant having a kid... Don't be silly, didn't I say the new version is every bit as charming as the old?

Pink - I sleep, when I'm allowed. Thanks.

Rohini - I do know what you mean. That's what sparked off the post.

Anonymous said...

The twerp who???

Raindrop said...

Oh blah. I never got roses or ANY of that stuff, and we weren't even married. Needless to say, it's off. And not because of the lack of roses.

If the offer's still open, I'd be happy to adopt your baby though, and save myself the trouble of finding a man, keeping the man, marrying the man, and then having the man's baby.

Sue said...

Anon - You'd have known. Only one Twerp.

Raindrop - Hullo, aren't you the one socialising at Wishful's? Never go far if the guy doesn't have any romance in him. Things get deadly boring that way, I say.

If Baby keeps up this nasty little habit of getting frisky at midnight every night the offer will probably stay open. I need my sleep!