Monday, May 08, 2006

Afterglow

Isn't afterglow an awesome word? It's just the way it means, I think. You read it and in your mind you see a soft aura. After whatever it was.

if you wanted to find peace of mind
then you could find it any time you liked
you are the afterglow

There are still some days and nights when I think I made a mistake. I know why I got married and all of it didn't have to do with V. In part I decided to get married because I was very lonely, and V seemed like he could make that go.

you are the afterglow
you are the midnight show
the only one i know
you come and then you go

Also, see, however precocious it may sound, by 21 I was experienced enough to know that once you have mutual comfort and security, romance follows. In other words, you don't have to start with the moonlight and roses.

(You can always start with wine, and we nearly did, but it's not always advisable. You know what they say about the vision-altering properties of alcohol.)

I admit it, I do think sometimes I could have been less hasty. When I see friends of mine going about their careers and academics, stuff which for me has to take a backseat now. But I also know I wouldn't really trade my life for theirs willingly. Not because of sour grapes, but because, in a very basic sort of way, I honestly am happy. I like having a home and a husband to go to every evening. That sort of way. And though I grouse about it, I do like the thought of having a baby.

feeling my way all of the time
all of the time doing just fine

I was rather ill last weekend. And ending Thursday with a huge fight with V didn't help much. But afterwards, there was the weekend. In which we didn't so much make up as forget the fight, which somehow seemed felt better. To makeup is to remind yourself of the fight, in ways. And we had a nice weekend, in which we did nothing at all except sleep lots and eat lots and spend long hours just feeling peaceful. Moving and everything else has really been stressful on both of us. We needed this timeout.

all of the time feeling alright
taking a while raising a smile makes it all worthwhile

9 comments:

Grafxgurl said...

Have you heard Sarah McLachlan singing it?....its amazing.

one of my posts also has the same title.... reminded me of it :)...it certainly is a very warm word.

i dont feel married yet. but yes i know that loneliness is definately out of the window...feels good to know you belong to someone. who loves you.

Sue said...

Grafx - No, I only know the Travis version.

I told you, our wateriness shows through, lol.

If you're anything at all like me, you won't feel married, really, till you guys set up your own household. And you can still be lonely in a marriage, I'll testify to that one, but it lasts for shorter whiles. And it's easier to make it go, somehow. The difference between husbands and boyfriends, maybe.

Grafx said...

yeah...makes a difference when you have a husband...
you should listen to her album...she's such a "warm" singer.

lol..we're having a "blog chat" now...okokok ill quit!!

Beq said...

Best though is the Small Faces song of the same name
I'm happy just to be with you
And loving you the way I do
There's everything I need to know
Just resting in the afterglow of your love...

Of course its not just the words. They put in an awesome performace as well. All ye uninitiated...its in the album Ogden's Nut Gone Flake

Sue said...

Grafx - I've heard some stuff by her, but not much, I'm afraid.

Beq-dude - I only have 1 Small Faces song. Please get Ogden's with you when you come. Incidentally, do you have any idea how long it's been since I've heard Travis? A year or so.

WishfulThinker said...

Now I'm feeling all alone! waaaaaaah!!!! :D

Sue said...

Wishful - Poor baby, you still have your muse. And it's not as easy to write Wishfulthinker poetry when you're really happy. I haven't written a line since the marriage!

That was, believe it or not, somehow supposed to make you see the silver lining!

Albatross said...

Did I read Sarah McLachlan somewhere...you surely should hear Wild Horses...think it is Fear soundtrack.

Sue said...

Albatross - Will do, thanks for the suggestion.