Several males -- ok, exactly three, but that's one more than a couple so I'm entitled to the "several"... Where was I again? Oh yes, those males. They've asked for a post on
What Clothes (And Shopping) Mean to Women Like Me.
I added the last two words as an afterthought, because I do know plenty of women who couldn't care less what they wear and hate the idea of having to go shopping for something as boring as clothes. Or shoes (horrors!). Or accessories (who needs 'em?)
But Women Like Me, we're the majority. We like clothes like we like chocolate. Or sexy men. Or cute pictures of Johnny Depp. Well, ok, make that any picture of the Depp.
See guys, clothes are our feel-good factor. They perk us up when we are feeling really low. This can work in two ways:
1) We go shopping for new clothes. Deciding on places to go, browsing through the racks, looking for bargains, choosing the right shade to go with that bag you were given and which doesn't match a single thing you own, are strong distractions. And distraction's a good thing when the blues have got you. When nothing else works, a new outfit will bring our sunny smiles back into your lives. It's worth the trouble of accompanying us on our shopping trips.
2) We wear nice clothes when we need to feel good or even when we are feeling really good to start with. Going by what I'm wearing you can usually guess how I felt while I was dressing. How my night was. What I want to do today. But you'd need to really notice. Like, a certain ex-boyfriend finally figured out that I saved two particular blouses for my filthy moods. So, whenever he saw me in either, he ran for his life and didn't come out of hiding any time soon either. He was absolutely spot on and I was the first to admit it.
Also, and don't tell me this works only for women, because then CK undies wouldn't be the rage I understand they are, nice lingerie can give you just that added edge you need. Sitting in an interview, worried nerveless about what the panel thinks of you when you suddenly remember that your lacy camisole is definitely more sexy than anything the lot of them has ever possessed. And bingo, your poise is back, you rule. You are not intimidated any more.
I bought cartloads of sexy stuff for my trousseau. That's how intimidated I was by the thought of getting married...
a) We do not usually like incompatible shopping companions. This probably means you. Those of you who are grumbling about spending an entire day bargain-hunting, it's not that we really want you. We need you to carry the bags. To tell us that our favourite colours look much better on us than the yicky stuff that's going cheaper. To occasionally pull us into a food place and tank us up for the next haul. Your role is clearly defined. You just need to learn the lines, ja? And that's not as difficult as you like to pretend.
b) We do not spend the day shopping just because we love it so much. We are making the money really count (and showing you more of the world) by looking around for the best ways to spend it.
We do not really look to spend your money. I, for example, only truly enjoy the shopping when I know just how much I can spend with a clear conscience. And I can only do that when I'm paying. I will help you pick out a birthday gift for me (or a gift for any other occasion or even a non-occasion) but only after you give me a budget. I'm not after your cash, I'm after the satisfaction I get from money well spent.
To answer specific questions:
Wishful: just what is it about women and clothes man??? What what??? Pray tell!!! :)
Ans: See above
First Rain: did somebody actually ask about women and clothes! Next somebody will ask about women and shopping, and that will be it - the end of the world ;)
Ans: Not a question exactly, but relevant. See next question.
Midnightmare: As for shopping and women, would love a tip. Just how much is the lower threshold that a guy must be willing to shell out in terms of time and dough per day? ;-)
Ans: When a girl/ woman asks you to come shopping with her, keep the day free. Time will be an elastic concept, and it's unfair to expect her to stick to the few hours she might have promised you in a rash moment. Add an extra hour or two for the inter and post-shopping refreshment breaks, taking her and the bags home, helping her unwind after all that work. You play your cards right, it pays off rich dividends.
If she doesn't want to take you home with her afterwards, and doesn't have an excellent reason for that, she's not worth the effort.
If she expects you to pay for anything that you don't volutarily offer to buy her, she's got a gold-digging taint you might want to be wary of. Cashwise, all you should have to pay is for the transport and refreshments. Anything else is your choice, not hers.