Friday, March 19, 2004

I feel so romantic today! It’s not just today I think, have been feeling all peaceful and lovin’ since yesterday.
I just want to pick up the phone and sing a perfectly mushy song (Unchained Melody, why not?) to the man of my dreams. Write the silliest love letter so that I can imagine his loving-foolish grin as he reads it.
Lie in bed and dream up things to tell him and yes, do to him to. Play a foolish prank on him, just because.
And instead, here I am, dreaming of the man who will not tell me who he is. He will look over my shoulder as I type all this out, walk next to me when I’m on the streets by myself but he will refuse to tell me who he’s with when he is not with me. I don’t even know if I should be jealous. A pretty state of affairs!
I tried to watch ‘Dangerous Liaisons’, but I couldn’t. The way I feel, I cannot handle somebody being so very cynical about love. I know that’s how it can be – but it doesn’t have to be like that! That is how I felt all this time. Then I was weary, fed up with the pragmatism that seemed to the universe’s reply to my pleas for some crazy loving (and I don’t mean sex, boys). And now, here I am, deeply in love and darned if I know what the dratted man is doing now. Has vanished into thin air, he has. I do not understand why he does this. Every now and then, it’s like he never was. No replies, no acknowledgements even, of my presence in his life. Is that any way to treat the woman he plans to marry?

This is one heck of a silly letter to match a silly mood. Might just be the heat, now that I think of it. It’s been far too hot to want to do anything remotely active or exciting.

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